Day 15, but it feels like Day Three. Time's winging it. It's been tasty, nay, delectable. Have to feel particularly happy for the youngsters. No longer will they have to listen to auld fellas blathering on about `the modrin game and how rubbish it is'. "You were saying," they're now entitled to ask their elders, with a cheeky wink.

France v Portugal. ITV. Des `yes, I know the money's good, but what was I thinking of when I left the BBC' Lynam. "Hello, welcome to our coverage of France v Portugal. We'll be right back after the ads." Time for yet another fun re-enactment of a famous football moment. Speaking of which. Tried to re-enact Ronnie Whelan's goal against Russia in the back garden yesterday and ended up wrapped around the clothes line. It's not as easy as it looks, you know.

"Would you never take the England job again," Des asks Tel after the ads. "Mmm, `never' is a hard call . . . neverish," he says, meaning `yes'. "Are you a Figo or a Zidane man," Des asks Ally McCoist. "Both Des, but I'm probably a bit more Zidaneish," he says. ITV have invented a whole new language. Nuno-is-not-a-goal-threat Gomez (copyright Big Ron Atkinson) scores his fourth goal of the tournament. France regard this as impertinence, so does Eamo Dunphy who's in a right mood over on RTE. "I predict that Portugal are about to find out what world class really is, they're not going to be good enough," he had said before the game. Chippy Brady had disagreed, tipping France to win 2-1 (oh yes) but Portugal to give them a lengthy run for their money.

As Mick McCarthy put it on the BBC the other day, "You know what they say about opinions Barry (Davies), don't you - they're like backsides, we've all got one but it's not wise to air them in public." Indeed.

Half-time. "It hasn't gone according to plan for France, has it," Bill asks Eamo. "I think it has," he says, pointing out that France were running the game. "The problem is the goal," he adds in a Bobby Robson-esque moment.

Second half. A cagey epic. Extra time. Did Abel Xavier make a blinding save from Sylvain Wiltord? Yep, says the linesman. Should Abel Xavier have made a blinding save from Sylvain Wiltord? Well, no, he's a defender - expect to see him between the posts at Goodison Park next season. Zidane scores. Horrible end.

Eamo points out that Portugal had a couple of lads (including Figo) sent off and they might miss their World Cup qualifying date with Mick McCarthy's lads later in the year. It later transpired that only Nuno Gomes was dismissed. Drat.