ON THE COUCH:Ireland fail to walk on stormy seas but Liam Brady produces his own dark clouds in the studio, writes MARY HANNIGAN

SO THEN, ahead of last night’s tussle in Zilina, Armenia had gone top of the table – and who wouldn’t have predicted that? Mind you, after Ireland beat Armenia who beat Slovakia who beat Russia who beat Ireland who beat Andorra, Andorra beating Armenia yesterday would have made for a nifty sequence, of sorts. But it wasn’t to be.

What had to be last night, though, was a performance that would stir the national soul, Friday’s cataclysmically shameful defeat (or a single goal loss to a much better team – take yer pick) adding to the nation’s gloom. Could the team raise us up so we can stand on footballing mountains or, failing that, walk on stormy footballing seas?

Bill O’Herlihy wasn’t so sure. In fact, he wondered if there was tension in the camp after our Russian misadventure. Unrest, even. Tony O’Donoghue, pitchside in Zilina, confirmed his worst fears. “There’s a tension because they now know that they’ve really got something to prove, their professional pride and integrity was called in to question and I think their pride is stung – their national pride as well.”

There are times Liam Brady’s lips don’t even have to move, but you know what he’s saying: “Ah Jaysus,” was the gist after Bill and Tony’s chat. He was having none of this dented pride and integrity lark, describing Tony’s assessment as “totally over the top”.

As for criticism of the manager’s tactics, well, Liam simply asked: “Do we know better than Giovanni Trapattoni?”

“Yes,” said Eamon Dunphy.

Still, though, Dunphy reckoned Friday’s result was just “an aberration

. . . possibly”, but the “possibly” was the worry. The post-Friday consensus, after all, was that if route one didn’t work there was no route two.

Liam almost conceded as much, admitting that “there was too much insistence on hopeful balls”. And he was a bit gutted that Darron Gibsonzinho hadn’t replaced Paul Green in the line-up.

Dunphy kept his whist, although later he was moved to apologise for labelling Gibson as “brain dead” after the Russia game, even though he insisted at the time it was merely a “football expression”.

Bill told him there’d been a heap of complaints, not least, you’d imagine, from Anderson who’s lost his place to Gibson in the Manchester United midfield on more than a few occasions. “If he’s brain dead, what am I?”

Anderson? There are some questions you should never ask.

Anyway, it was time for a quick chat with Kevin Kilbane. Tony O’Donoghue put it to him that this route one lark was getting us nowhere. “How do we take on the Slovaks?” he asked.

“We lump it long and everyone runs in behind it,” said Kilbane, before breaking in to a grin.

Look, he might be as familiar with the art of defending as, say, Hyacinth Bucket, but the boy’s a legend.

Prediction time. “It’s a must-not-lose game,” said Bill, and his panel couldn’t disagree. “They’ll have the spirit and tenacity and professional pride AND integrity to get a result tonight,” said a still-smarting Liam, Dunphy agreeing, John Giles opting for a draw.

Which, granted, is also a result, as is a defeat, when you think about it, but Liam and Dunphy reckoned the game was marginally winnable.

Zilina. Amhrán na bhFiann bellowed from the stands. Gazillions of Irish folk in Slovakia. Recession? What recession?

Off we went. RTÉ broke in to the action to show us a Russian goal in Macedonia. This was probably a bad thing, but at this stage even if you had a first-class degree in applied mathematics this group’s permutations would probably frazzle your brain.

Goal! Sean St Ledger the scorer! And who wouldn’t have predicted that?

The ‘As It Stands’ group table looked lovely, Poland and Ukraine beckoning, before Ireland defended that corner like they’d never happened upon such a ground-breaking set-piece in their footballing lives. Ball to near-post, a flick backwards, goal. Not funny.

One each. “It could go either way, but it’s very winnable,” said Jim Beglin, prompting George “I’ve been here too many times before” Hamilton to ask if he’d “got the abacus out for the chickens”. And with that Ireland won a penalty. Beglin whooped. Robbie missed. George sighed. Beglin’s chickens were roosting.

Still, the panel was chirpy enough at half-time, prompting Bill to ask, in so many words, if Ireland just looked good because Slovakia were crap. The panel said no. Ish.

Second half. Largely much ado about nothing, apart from Robbie’s miss, which left us sinking in stormy footballing seas.

It was a result, though. A draw, that is. It’ll be March before another Group B ball is struck in anger, by then we’ll have had the Budget and Christmas. We’ll need a cricket score against Macedonia, one suspects, to raise us up at that stage. No pressure, lads.