Mary Hannigan's Planet Football: You'll remember Roy Keane was on holidays in Portugal with his family when the phone calls from Sunderland came flooding in, asking him to get himself to the north-east of England rather smartish to do a spot of managing.

Word has it that although Keane's wife Theresa wasn't against the idea, partly because she couldn't envision him being content with a life of tending to petunias in their back garden, she could have done without their holiday being interrupted.

If she heard "Sunderland", "Niall Quinn" and "Roy Keane" in the same sentence again she'd weep.

Well, on her return from the holiday Theresa went to Mass, where the theme of the priest's sermon was reconciliation. And, yes, "Sunderland", "Niall Quinn" and "Roy Keane" was the example he chose to use, the message being if they can reconcile anyone can. For Theresa it took "there's no getting away from it" to a whole new level.

Dog's life for Koreans

We're beginning to have sympathy for South Koreans playing their football in England. It seems when supporters dedicate tunes to them they have only one theme on their minds: the old chestnut about Koreans dining on our favourite four-legged pals.

A while back Manchester United fans came up with this for Park-Ji Sung: "Park Park, where ever you may be, you eat dogs in your own country ..." Now Reading supporters can be heard singing this as a tribute to Seol Ki-Hyeon, who scored against Sheffield United on Saturday: "He'll shoot, he'll score, he'll eat your Labrador, Seol Ki-Hyeon, Seol Ki-Hyeon."

Quotes of the week

"We're not as good as we think we are. We need to go out there and prove that."

- Steve McClaren, suggesting he learnt everything he knows from Sven.

Reporter: "Do you see any of yourself in Gordon Strachan?"

Alex Ferguson: "I don't think so. I hope not."

- And this was after they ended their feud.

"My dad used to referee me when I was a kid. I remember him booking me - and asking my name."

- Coventry City's Kevin Kyle. Must have been fun at tea-time in the Kyle house.

"Peter Crouch is treading a fine line. He's all over Nikolce Novevski like a randy octopus."

- BBC Online's Charlie Henderson describing Crouch's crush on the Macedonian defender.

"Glen Roeder knows that they have to score more goals than they concede if they want to win the game."

- John Anderson previewing Newcastle's Uefa Cup trip to Estonia.

"Luckily I have found out where they all are near me."

- Michael Ballack, who has spent much of his time in London, since moving to Chelsea, looking out for speed cameras.

Thompson's tirade

Notts County manager Steve Thompson was charged by the Football Association last week for "using abusive and/or insulting words towards a match official" in his team's recent 3-2 defeat by Milton Keynes Dons.

Thompson was sent to the stands at half-time after having a word with the ref, who sent off two County players and reversed his initial decision to award County a penalty.

After the game Thompson sort of half-suggested he didn't hold referee Danny McDermid, officiating in only his third game, in the highest of esteem.

"I thought the proper referee had been stuck in traffic and he'd gone on from the crowd ... it was the worst refereeing display I've seen in 30 years of professional football.

"That man takes the biscuit ... he should look in the mirror and decide if he's a referee or if he should be at a kindergarten party," said Thompson.

He completed his tribute thus: "If he was on fire I'd dial 998."

More quotes of the week

"I need to get back into coaching. Arsenal? Liverpool? Manchester United? They are all big clubs, but I don't have any ambitions for a particular side. Any of those would be good. This is my world - it's the only thing in life I can do well."

- Does anyone feel sorry for Sven-Goran Eriksson? No? Okay.

"When you're a manager it's a case of have suitcase will travel. And I certainly didn't want to travel with my trousers down."

- Plymouth manager Ian Holloway, reluctant to bare all.

"Retirement? You must be joking, especially when you consider that the alternative is to stay at home with that wife of mine. She says if I retire, she's heading back to Glasgow."

- Alex Ferguson explains why he hopes to hang around Old Trafford just a little bit longer.

"If you even looked at the Sunday League football around Newcastle you would not see the kind of goals we gave away against Fulham."

- Shay Given confirms what we already suspected: Newcastle's defenders wouldn't get a game in the Sunday League.

"A sloped pitch surrounded by a greyhound track, 3,000 fans that sound like 10,000, fickle weather and a team of warriors ... that's what awaits Guy Lacombe's men."

- Paris Saint Germain's own website nervously previewing that trip to Derry.

"With players like Dudu and Kaka in the side, it's fitting that the new Brazil boss is Dunga."

- The BBC3 commentator has a point.

Jol's sloppy homework

It wasn't until we read Football 365 last week that we wondered if Spurs manager Martin Jol was as meticulous with this "attention to detail" lark as he had suggested he was ahead of the team's Uefa Cup campaign.

"We have been preparing for weeks," he had said of the game against Slavia Prague, "we have done all our work, we have been to Prague to see Slavia play. We have studied them because we know it is a very important match for us."

All fine, until Jol added: "We can't underestimate them. In the last three years in the Uefa Cup they have reached a semi-final, a quarter-final and the last 16."

At which point 365 shared with us, and Martin, the fact that Slavia had not gone past the fourth round of the competition "more than once in the past 15 years".

As we feared: "Sparta Prague, on the other hand, have fared rather better." Uh oh.