On the Premiership: George Bernard Shaw may have been overstating it when he claimed that "games are for people who can neither read nor think", but football has been doing its best to prove the old curmudgeon right recently, writes Andrew Fifield
First there were the sickening reports of Liverpool supporters attacking the ambulance which was carrying the Manchester United striker Alan Smith to hospital after he broke his leg and dislocated his ankle in an FA Cup fifth-round tie at Anfield. Then there was the less poisonous but still brainless antics of Barcelona's Lionel Messi during the Catalans' Champions League meeting with Chelsea last Wednesday.
The teenager reacted to Asier Del Horno's cack-handed challenge towards the end of the first half by throwing himself to the floor as if he had been picked off by a sniper in the Shed end. Yet it was not the histrionics which left such a sour taste: that stemmed from the footage which showed Messi fall to the ground, cock his head towards the referee to make sure his behaviour was being observed, and then roll over three times to complete the illusion of injury.
Nobody emerged from the affair with any semblance of grace. The play-acting of Messi, a sublimely gifted player whose poise, balance and speed will make him a fixture on the international scene for many years to come, was disgracefully brazen, but scarcely less palatable was the wounded reaction of Chelsea's manager Jose Mourinho. "Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well," he said.
Mourinho's blinkered view of proceedings at Stamford Bridge is well known, but even by his (double) standards, this was extraordinary. He, after all, was in charge of the FC Porto team which so enraged the former Celtic manager Martin O'Neill with their melodrama during the 2003 Uefa Cup final.
Similarly, one of the reasons ventured for the poor state of Chelsea's pitch this season is that the home players have spent too much time rolling on it. Three weeks ago, Arjen Robben was floored after being tickled - there is no other word for it - by the glove of the Liverpool goalkeeper Jose Reina. Even last Wednesday, Del Horno gave Messi a run for his money in the play-acting stakes by making it appear as if he was suffering convulsions following their collision by the corner flag.
But before English football starts thinking it can occupy the high moral ground, it should remind itself of how Arsenal's 49-game unbeaten run came to an acrimonious end at Manchester United last season. The player who instigated contact with Sol Campbell's boot and plunged to the ground was not Ruud van Nistelrooy or Cristiano Ronaldo, but Wayne Rooney. The England striker may be a salt-of-the-earth Scouser, but the unpalatable truth is that he proved himself just as adept at gamesmanship as the Premiership's foreign imports.
There are some who argue that diving, rather than being a gross act of deception, is actually the purest manifestation of professionalism. They point to the fact that Rooney's actions won his team a penalty and arguably inflicted a devastating psychological blow to one of their main rivals. The end justified the means, particularly in an age when football's financial stakes have never been higher.
But that is not good enough. A victory gained by foul means is no victory at all and strips the sport of its credibility. There is also an issue of shattered trust: when players attempt to con the referee into awarding penalties or red cards, they break the intangible bond which exists between fellow professionals and the supporters who have paid enormous sums of money to watch a clean contest. More importantly, they are also betraying the game itself.
It doesn't have to be this way. Football still has the capacity to stir the emotions for all the right reasons, and proved it, oddly enough, in the reaction to Smith's gruesome injuries at Anfield. Wes Brown, a man who knows only too well the emotional distress caused by long spells on the sidelines, held his team-mate's hand as he lay on the turf while Liverpool's Jean-Arne Riise cradled his head.
It was a strangely touching moment, and although those gestures were lost amid the outpouring of sympathy for Smith and the subsequent fury at those Liverpool fans who brought shame on their club, they at least proved that football has not completely lost its soul.
Unfortunately, until the players take responsibility for shunning the black arts, there will always be doubts. Do not hold your breath: Messi insisted last week that "I don't do theatre", while Robben has now had the cheek to claim that referees who have been alerted to his penchant for pretence are refusing to award him penalties. They are kidding themselves and cheating the rest of us.