For sometime now women's tennis has been a better spectacle than the men's game. A game where the serve has not become a howitzer. Thankfully, television ratings are indicating that the public are getting tired of the zombie-like nature of the men's game . . . thud . . . ugh . . . thud . . . 15-love.

Apart from the fact that US television ratings are things to distrust (anyone who had to bear the Atlanta Olympics on NBC will understand the excruciating packaging job they sometimes apply to sports events), they can occasionally become an indicator of sporting trends. Last year's women's Grand Slam finals out-rated the men on US television. With the likes of Anna Kournikova, Martina Hingis, Venus and Serena Williams, Mary Pierce, Monica Seles and Steffi Graf, the women's game now has players the public want to see. The men's ATP tour is currently falling over itself to organise men's and women's events at the same venues - and the women's WTA organisation is playing hard ball. Not withstanding Wimbledon's decision to once again pay the women less than the men in prizemoney, there is a move to tap into the current female appeal. No one expects a monolith like Wimbledon to change with the times. But very soon they may have to.

An annual cheese rolling competition thought to date back to pre-Roman times was cancelled last week over safety fears. Last year 27 people were injured as competitors chased Double Gloucester cheeses down the steep, one-in-two gradient, of Cooper's Hill, Gloucestershire, as they tried to catch them before they reached the bottom.

This year's event, due to take place last Monday, was cancelled at a special Cheese Rolling Committee meeting. Last year, a record number of competitors and spectators were hurt when people threw themselves down the 150m course after cheeses travelling at up to 30 mph. Mr Peasley, an organiser, said that one of the problems was the committee had been unsuccessful in organising a mountain rescue group to attend the event. The police had also refused to attend. "Both are trying to disassociate themselves from any responsibility for the cheese rolling," said Peasly.

"We have never had any involvement with the race and we do not want to be involved," said a Council spokesman.

Sad isn't it?

Ban the Big Bertha? The pros claim they hit the ball 30 yards further with it. But do the wonder clubs really improve the average hacker's game? An interesting study, which may apply to Big Berthas (in an admittedly obtuse way), was carried out in German taxi cabs, which were fitted with an advanced braking system. It was found that the system was no safer than the ordinary brakes fitted to cabs because the drivers felt they could drive much more recklessly and get away with it. But they couldn't and subsequently became involved in just as many crashes as the cabs fitted with ordinary brakes.

Some are applying the cabby logic to Big Berthas. In other words, when Mr High Handicap gets his hands on one he becomes a raving lunatic who thinks he can hit the ball out of the parish in the same way professionals and reasonable golfers can harness the benefits of the state-of-the art equipment. The swing then goes to pot. The impact is terrible and he trips over himself in the follow through. Net result is the ball occasionally goes further but his swing goes A.W.O.L.

Handy little advertisement in a British magazine this month for all the wannabes out there who don't mind bending the rules and their bodies. `The strongest Pregnenolone and Androstenedione formula - ever', runs the blurb, `stock up now before it's banned'.

Androstenedione was in fact invented by the East Germans and is a testosterone derivative. If you want your promising young daughter to grow a moustache, have hairy legs and speak with a deep voice then by all means buy her some of the stuff and watch her career take off. And don't be put of by the fact that the International Amateur Athletic Federation (IAAF) and the International Olympic Committee's Medical Commission banned Androstenedione last year.

If you're playing your golf in the UK beware of unforeseen handicaps. Anthony Lightning (yes, as in thunder) is one unlucky golfer who failed to protect himself from causing injury to others while playing.

The Court of Appeal found him negligent after his ball deflected off a tree and struck another player in the eye, causing permanent damage.

The court ruled that the `Lightning strike' was his own fault and that any golfer is liable for injuring another player even if they shout `Fore'.

There are various insurance policies available and one scheme The Golfer's Policy, which costs between £25 and £40 a year, pays up to £2.5 million for personal liability as well as protecting against loss, theft or damage to equipment of up to £2,000 and personal effects of up to £250.

Rather quaintly, it also pays up to £125 if you score a hole in one during a competition and have to shell out for the drinks in the clubhouse afterwards. And the chances of that? About the same as lightning striking twice.

At last a method of cooling boxers down has been devised in an attempt to slow dehydration during bouts. It has been known for some time that dehydration has been one of the main contributors to brain damage in the sport. Now Sky television, in association with the British Boxing Board of Control (BBBC), has introduced a system that sends freezing air into the ring from above. Pipes above the ring are connected to an air conditioning system which blows the air directly down to the boxers during the session.

Normally arenas are stifling places. Body heat, combined with the heat generated by the television lights, has become a major handicap, particularly to northern European boxers whose bodies are unused to high humidity and soaring temperatures. Although the system is still experimental, it seems like one of the most practical methods yet devised to keep the fighters safe.

Amongst other things, Paul Gascoigne will need to learn a little about political timing. In an interview this week he managed to talk himself out of ever receiving a coaching job . . .

"I'm not the only man who's ever done it, but I'm the only Paul Gascoigne and that's worse. It was the worst thing I have ever actually done, to be fair. Worst thing by a long, long way. Me Dad's never brought me up to hit any woman, but then I did it. It's there. Nothing helps it," he said speaking of his shame at beating his estranged wife Sheryl.

In the frank interview he then added that he could become a great England manager before outlining his strange encounter with a ghost. The soccer celebrity said he was attacked by a ghost during his time in Italy.

"I saw this guy, sort of bright but clear, and he was holding two foxes, dead," he said. "I felt trapped. I struggled with all me strength against it and could just lift my head up this much and look down the bed. Then it sort of relaxed the pressure and I shoved my way up and out of the room and called everyone up.

"I'd have mountains to learn, but I could motivate a squad better than anyone, and I know how to plan to beat sides," he said.

Who're Lancaster Gate gonna call? We feel sure it won't be Ghostbustin' Gazza.