... or are you just happy to see me?

AS A golfing experience. It is as likely to produce a double entendre as a double bogey

AS A golfing experience. It is as likely to produce a double entendre as a double bogey. And those fearful of not dressing up to scratch will very much welcome the absence of any sartorial rivalry. Indeed, all the normal golfing inhibitions are east aside in this remarkable establishment.

On entering La Jenny, patrons are expected to hand over not only a greenfee, but their shirt and their slacks or skirt as well. And for good measure, underwear is also rendered redundant at this, Europe's first and only nudist golf club.

La Jenny Domaine Residentiale Naturiste is situated deep among the pine forests in Aquitaine - well it would be, wouldn't it - an hour's drive from Bordeaux airport. And it employs the world's only nudist teaching professional, Guillaume Loxi, who conducts clinics without wearing a stitch.

We understand he has an admirable swing and is well versed in schoolboy and barrack room innuendo: "Length is not important, mon ami - it is the touch that matters." The three hole course, starting with a 152 metre par three, carries an over all par of 10 and is generally played three times. And the ambition of the owner, M Gaignes, is to play host to the first World Nude Masters.

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The self contained naturist estate on the Cote d'Argent even has a pub where guests sit around in various states of tin dress. Some play cards; only the brave play darts. It also has a restaurant, laundrette, hairdresser, grocer's shop and four swimming pools.

Meanwhile, for those who like to keep physically active, there is a body building gym, a pony trail, bicycles for hire, a giant chess board and an evening disco. And a nude tennis professional is available for lessons.

"Aquitaine saw the country's first ever naturist camp and was also the birthplace of golf in France," claimed Gaignes. "So, it was only natural we should open the first nude golf club here." I understand that he is particularly proud of the 800 wooden self catering chalets, which are largely splinter free.

Apparently slow play is not a problem. As might be expected, La Jenny's patrons are only too happy to show a clean pair of heels.

"I think at 56 or so you hit a wall. It's not that you won't win, it's just you won't dominate like a 50 year old can." - Lee Trevino, who was 57 last December.

GOLFING purists have always had their suspicions about the broomhandle putter. In their view, a golf stroke, as we have come to know it, is rendered redundant in that the top hand, which grips the end of the putter, merely holds the club on line. Now, it seems that the Royal and Ancient are inclined to agree.

According to R and A secretary Michael Bonallack, their concern is that "the weight of the putter is hanging vertically so that the putter does the work." He went on: "Almost all the player has to do is lightly rest his hands on it.

"In a way, he is not really making a conscious stroke at the ball. The weight of the putterhead does it for him. In that sense it takes the sense of feel away, which in many ways is the true secret of putting."

Bonallack added, however, that if a change were made, there would be a period to allow manufacturers and players time to adhere to any new ruling. Which would be of little consolation to practitioners such as Philip Walton, Sam Torrance and Bernhard Langer, who have had significant tournament successes with the broomhandle and are using it at Wentworth this week.

IT IS refreshing to see a young golfer being aware of the game's wonderful tradition, including the achievements of illustrious predecessors. And it is particularly welcome when the individual happens to be Tiger Woods.

This slide of the socalled phenomenon was revealed during the Bryon Nelson Classic last weekend when he had dinner with the eponymous hero. Said Woods: "Listening to Mr Nelson and his stories, I guess I realised that I'm just part of that old school mentality that wants to win.

"Those players needed to win to make a living and it instilled in them a sense that second was not good enough. Now you can finish in the top 20 and make a living, which means that second place becomes acceptable. But it isn't for me."

While in Dallas, Woods also articulated a deep appreciation of how fortunate he has been in the wide scheme of things. Recalling his recent university days, he talked about a professor at Stanford University who could build a computer from scratch, and another academic whose photographic memory allowed him to recite a book after reading it only once.

It is amazing that I am getting so much attention when there are such brilliant people in the world," he said with genuine modesty. With that sort of attitude, the young man is unlikely to be unduly affected by fame.

GRANTED, Winston Churchill is reputed to have smoked 300,000 of them in his lifetime, but this is golf, not politics. So it's somewhat surprising to discover that cigars are the fastest growing golf accessory.

It is estimated that, last year, Americans smoked more than 3.5 billion cigars, of which 163 million were premium, hand rolled. Indeed their popularity was in evidence at Buckinghamshire GC earlier this week when Sam Torrance and Jesper Parnevik were sporting their favourite brand of stogies during the Andersen Consulting World Championship.

Some bright spark has even solved the problem of where to set it down while you're hitting the ball. Hence the invention of the TeeGar, a teelike device which cradles the weed and protects the wrapper from impurities, while preventing grass burns. Not that there was much chance of grass being even lightly singed during the recent spell of "soft" weather.

Among the American converts to cigarsmoking are Tom Watson, Davis Love, Lee Trevino, Brad Faxon and Larry Laoretti. But the clever ones, conscious of the antismoking lobby, are never seen with them on a golf course. "I smoke them just about anywhere other than in a tournament," admitted Love. "Man, I love the really big Cuban ones."

Apparently he took up the habit more than four years ago when he and Faxon were playing in Jamaica. "A friend of Brad's gave us some really good ones," said Love. "That got me going. Now you can't play a round of golf anywhere in the world without seeing people smoking them."

COSTANTINO ROCCA, defending champion at Wentworth this week, was asked about his memories of that famous win 12 months ago. "When I win, I phone my wife," he said, in faltering English. Language was no problem, however, when he was asked to describe her reaction. Throwing his hands in the air and giving one of his broad, infectious smiles, he said: "You know Italians."

SINCE his unsuccessful flirtation with Ballyliffin, Nick Faldo has been linked with just about every available piece of Irish golfing terrain that has come on the market in recent months. Latest speculation concerns the 367 acre Bartagh Island at the mouth of the River Moy, near Ballina.

"Yes, we have looked at Bartagh from a chopper, but we're not involved in any deal there," said Faldo's manager, John Simpson at Wentworth this week. "It is one of a number of places we have investigated in Ireland and Scotland."

Simpson added: "It's no secret that Nick is keen to get involved in such a project and we were obviously disappointed that things didn't work out at Ballyliffin. I like to think that one day we will come up with the right location, but, at the moment, there is nothing to report."

Teaser: A player drops his ball other than in the manner prescribed in Rule 20-2a. He addresses the ball and the ball moves. He then is advised that he dropped his ball improperly. So, as permitted by Rule 20-6, he lifts the ball, drops it properly and plays. According to Rule 20-6, the player incurs no penalty for the improper drop. Does he incur a penalty stroke under Rule 18-2b because the ball moved after it was addressed, even though the ball was subsequently lifted and re-dropped?

Answer: Yes. The ball was in play when it was first dropped, even though it was dropped in an improper manner (Rule 20-4). When it moved after being addressed, the penalty prescribed in Rule 18-2b was applicable (one stroke).