Roddy L’Estrange: Stars come out to play but only in the night sky

Foray into ‘Fantasy Football’ is a fiasco but Roddy’s night is saved by a close encounter

It was a little before midnight on Monday when the starry-eyed stargazers disembarked the Dublin Bus special, armed with binoculars, collapsible telescopes and hope in their hearts. Without hesitation, they fanned out across the carpark at Howth Summit, eager for the finer vantage points from which to observe the Perseid meteor shower.

Vinny Fitzpatrick was aware that this mild August night was a star-watcher’s delight because he’d tuned into the giddy chat on the way out from Astronomy Ireland’s headquarters in Blanchardstown. He’d heard how the moon was in its waning phase, which meant the night skies over Dublin, while dark, were clear: ideal viewing for the meteor munchkins, mostly middle-aged men and women.

The annual nocturnal shower display had become a huge deal, Vinny had gathered. Caused by fragments of Swift-Tuttle comet entering the Earth’s atmosphere, it was more spectacular in the northern hemisphere than anywhere else. The chatter on the bus had been of “50 to 60” meteors an hour flashing across the night sky.

As his happy campers scanned constellations Perseus and Cassiopeia in the northeast and braced themselves in anticipation of meteor madness, Vinny flicked on BBC Five Live for the late night football result.

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His antennae twitched when he heard Manchester City had beaten West Brom 3-0, but instantly dipped when there was no mention of Sergio Agüero among the goals. “That’s put a tin hat on the weekend,” he grumbled.

Spot prizes

Against his better judgment, Vinny had signed up this season for the Premier League’s ‘Fantasy Football’ After two hours of head-scratching Vinny had handed over a score to be part of Foley’s in-house league called ‘Cesc In The City.’

“Everyone in Foley’s is up for it. There’s over a grand in the kitty, weekly spot prizes and a knockout Cup competition too. C’mon, you don’t want to get left out,” Brennie had implored.

Given recent sporting events in Foley’s, Vinny felt it prudent to be inside the tent with the lads, rather than outside on his own, hence his membership of “FF” – the footie game, not the political party.

On paper, Vinny felt his team was half-decent. Petr Cech was his first choice goalie; Leighton Baines and John Terry his defensive mainstays. In midfield, he'd partnered James McCarthy with Jack Wilshere and United's new boy Memphis Depay, while Agüero and Olivier Giroud where his chief attacking threats.

If his team was top-heavy with Arsenal players, it was because the so-called experts were tipping Arsène Wenger's side to topple Chelsea from their perch.

After registering his team as ‘Persie Throwers’, in recognition of the late BBC gardener as much as the recently departed Dutch striker, Vinny sat back in anticipation of a bonanza return.

His confidence was woefully misplaced. Between injury no-shows (Baines, Wilshere), howlers (Cech) and lads left on the bench (Agüero and Giroud), his score was a shocker. To cap it all, Vinny’s third striker, Cameron Jerome of Norwich City, had a perfectly good goal disallowed by a myopic referee.

He calculated his score was fewer than 20 points, which he reckoned would leave him plum last in Foley’s.

“So much for trying to lead a quiet life for a while. The slaggers will have a field day,” he thought as he stepped out of his cabin to stretch his trotters and take the night air.

To his left, facing east and north, he could make out the silhouettes of telescopes facing skywards, the huddled shadows underneath. Judging by the oohs and aahs, his stargazers were having a blast as the fireballs flashed and vanished across the sky.

Vinny wandered off down a lane which, he knew, eventually wound down towards the Baily Lighthouse. He wasn’t going down that far, certainly not in the middle of the night, but a sudden call of nature needed his attention.

Dazzling sight

Aware of the distinctive sound which a pee made when things were quiet, especially his gusher specials, he headed a bit further down, to where the track curved. He was now facing west and could see the lights of Dublin’s fair city twinkling below.

As he let fly, the sky lit up in front of him as a meteor flew across his line of fire. It was a dazzling sight and most unlike the exploding shooting stars he’d noticed earlier.

This meteor was lengthier than any other and stayed in the sky for longer too, as it travelled horizontally, high in the night sky. It must have been visible for a good 20 seconds, Vinny reckoned.

“What a corker, that’ll certainly please my little Copernicans,” he thought to himself.

At two o’clock, the appointed time of departure, Vinny tooted his horn and called the stargazers on board. As they retook their seats, Vinny did a quick head count before his trademark departure call via the PA.

“All aboard the Skylark, twice around the lighthouse and back in time for tea. Folks, I hope you enjoyed the night, I know I did. That long skinny meteor which flew across the city was certainly spectacular, wasn’t it?”

At that, Vinny pulled away. He hadn’t gone far when there was a gentle rap on his cabin window.

“Excuse me,” said a bearded stargazer. “That meteor you saw. It sounds like an earth-grazer, they’re very rare, almost comet-like. Was it in the sky for long?”

Vinny looked at the boffin.

“About half a minute. Why? Didn’t you lot see it?”

The stargazer dropped his eyes. “Alas, no. We were looking out to sea, at the smaller meteors. More’s the pity,” he said, shuffling back to his seat.

At that, Vinny thought of his nighthawks and how they’d given up their night for the once-a-year Perseid performance, only to miss a trick.

“What a right shower,” he grinned.