McCarthy's men abroad:At this stage it looks like Graham Kavanagh, who won the last of his three caps in 1999, has as much chance of going to the World Cup as Alan Kernaghan or Paul Butler, but if keeps up his current form he could at least finish the season winning promotion with Cardiff City and the gong for the top scoring midfielder in England and Wales.
On Saturday, Kavanagh brought his tally for the season to 15 in a 2-0 win that lifted Cardiff to within two points of the play-off places in the second division. Mind you, he's picked up almost as many yellow cards - he was booked for the 12th time this season on Saturday, having already been landed with a two-match ban for reaching the double figures mark.
In the first division, Wolves' manager Dave Jones had to pay for several tickets for members of his own family to see the game against Stockport but after witnessing Mark Kennedy's volley from 25 yards into the top corner he said: "For them to see Sparky's goal made it worth it".
But there was a less than happy conclusion to Southampton's scoreless draw with Bolton for Rory Delap, who was sent off two minutes from time for his second bookable offence.
Was his manager, Gordon Strachan, sympathetic? "He has been out for six weeks and came back and had a big game but now he will be out of the side again for two games. Now someone else could come in, play well and take his place. And he will only have himself to blame." Well, no.
Phelan has them buzzing
Last week we told you about Terry Phelan's transfer to American second division club Charleston Battery in South Carolina and the very next day what arrived in our email inbox? A big hello from Chapelizod, Co Dublin native and Planet Football reader Darragh Doran who lives in Charleston and is a Battery season ticket holder ("$50 - not bad, I paid more than that at Richmond Park"). Supernatural.
"Terry can look forward to playing in a beautiful stadium, perfect pitch, and the weather is perfect when the season kicks off in April - evening games will be played in the low 70s, so he'll be delighted with his choice of club," wrote Darragh. "But, come July, when it's close on 90, even at night, and the mosquitoes are biting, he' ll be wishing that he had his head down, running down some other sideline ."
Darragh has promised to be our Charleston Battery correspondent so if Phelan's bitten by a mosquito you'll hear it here first.
Muffin's no mule
David Wilson? We could never thank you enough for your email alerting us to the fact that "Dead muffin" is an anagram of Damien Duff (right). Inspired by this, we too visited www.anagramgenius.com.
Ready? Which Irish midfielder is on loan at Coventry from Celtic? Clue: "An oily lech" or "A chilly one".
Who scored Ireland's winner against Holland last September ("A reject moans", "A jet romances" or "Jest on camera")?
Name Ipswich's Irish midfielder ("Mad, tall 'n' hot"). Who is the captain of the Republic of Ireland ("Korea Yen" or, if you include his middle name Maurice, "Eureka! Icy moaner" or "Eureka! My iron ace")?
Name the two Wimbledon players in the Irish squad ("Mucking nanny hen" and, aptly, "Vainly cold Don", or "Vocal Noddy nil")?
And, em, who is the manager of the Republic of Ireland ("Hmm! Crack city!" Or, call him Michael and you get "March itchy camel")? We're going for a lie down now.
Nike's Ruud awakening
Are we hallucinating or did the Republic of Ireland qualify for the 2002 World Cup, ousting Holland along the way? Why do we ask? Well, back in November a Ladbrokes internet ad, offering the latest World Cup-winning odds, priced Holland at 20 to 1, despite the fact that they hadn't actually qualified for the finals.
Now? Football 356 noted midweek that English paper Metro, in an article about Nike's new Mercurial Vapor boot, declared: "Mercurial Vapor was developed with the help of Manchester United's Ruud van Nistelrooy, whom Nike hopes will be wearing the footwear at this summer's World Cup." Maybe, but he'll look a bit daft wearing them while spectating.
Quotes of the week
"When you look at these two teams the words 'rush' and 'kick' and 'dross' all come to mind. The second half started two minutes late, I think the ball refused to come out."
- Sky Sport's Rodney Marsh enjoying the clash of Leicester v Derby on Saturday.
"I'm still trying English."
- David Beckham on being asked if he would try to learn Japanese before the World Cup.
"That guy van Nistlerooy, he's a great number nine."
- TV3 co-commentator Tony Cascarino, as heard by Eugene, speaking on Wednesday night over a shot of Van Nistlerooy . . . wearing number 10 on his back.
"A draw's not the best result, but it's not as bad as losing, although we'd have preferred a win."
- Valencia's Pablo Aimar does a fine Kevin Keegan impression.
"We can even make Youri better than what he was before he arrived here with what we do."
- Bolton manager Sam Allardyce welcomes Youri Djorkaeff to England in an as yet unidentified foreign language.
"More boring than a caravan site in winter."
- Berti McVogts' description of.himself.
Website of the week
www.cuwhen.com/ubid
Fancy bagging yourself a football signed by the Republic of Ireland team, or a 1999 Manchester United Champions League jersey autographed by their winning team, or a football signed by Liverpool's squad last season? Well, if you visit www.cuwhen.com/ubid you can bid for all three items, the proceeds from the auction going to the Beaumont Foundation, the fundraising arm of Beaumont Hospital.
Big Ron on form
Man of the match in last Wednesday's game between Liverpool and Galatasaray? Big Ron Atkinson, who produced his best performance of the season, the highlights of which were, according to Football 365, (1) "Liverpool are outnumbered numerically in midfield", (2) "The keeper should have saved that one, but he did" and (3) "There's lots of balls dropping off people". Swoon.
Carlisle's howler
Spotted on the official Carlisle website last week, a hastily transcribed version of Roddy Collins's tribute to his players after their 2-0 win over Torquay: "All the credit must go to the players tonight. It was down to the lads' will to win, attitude and the doginess of them that got them the result." Wuff.
Ball-watching
Before Saturday Cologne, the Bundesliga's bottom club, had failed to score in nine successive league matches. So, they employed the services of a fortune teller, Lilo von Kiesenwetter, to tell them if they can avoid relegation. She had good news and bad news for them. The bad? She told the club they would be relegated and both the coach and chairman would lose their jobs.
The good news? "I can clearly see that the team will score goals soon, in the next couple of games." The result of their next match (on Saturday)? FC Nuremberg 2, Cologne 0. Maybe her crystal ball needs polishing.
Football on TV
Today: Aberdeen v Celtic (Scottish Cup, fifth round), Sky Sports 1, 8.0. Tomorrow: Manchester United v Nantes (Champions League), TV3, 7.45; Crewe Alexandra v Everton (FA Cup, fifth round replay), Sky Sports 2, 7.45. Wednesday: Arsenal v Bayer Leverkusen (Champions League), TV3, UTV, 7.45. Thursday: Leeds v PSV Eindhoven (UEFA Cup, fourth round, second leg), Sky Sports Extra, 8.0. Saturday: Newcastle v Arsenal (Premiership), Sky Pay-per-view, 5.0. Sunday: Derby v Manchester United (Premiership), Sky Sports 1, 4.0.
