McCarthy's men abroad: It was ironic that on the same day Luton Town gained automatic promotion to the second division Liam George (below), their top scorer the last two seasons, was making his debut as a sub for Stevenage Borough in the Nationwide Conference.

George joined Stevenage last week after a demoralising search for a new club that included trials at Clydebank, Cambridge, Colchester, Gillingham and Rushden and Diamonds, to name but a few.

Just turned 23, George has been beset with injury problems since those heady days in the summer of 1998 when he scored the winning penalty against Germany for the Irish under-18 team in the UEFA Championship final in Cyprus. A broken leg, a serious ankle injury and knee problems have, so far, ruined any hope he had of living up to the lofty expectations set for him back in '98, when he partnered Robbie Keane in the Irish attack. Carlisle, meanwhile, secured their place in the Football League on Friday, with six games still to go, when Richie Foran scored a last minute equaliser, his 14th goal of the season, against Halifax. It is the club's best league performance in four years, having gone in to the final week of the last three campaigns still in danger of relegation.

"People In Ireland said I would be back before Christmas, but Christmas is well gone and there will be a lot more Christmases before they see me back home," said Carlisle's shy and retiring manager Roddy Collins. Collins is now on the look-out for new players for next season - word has it he was impressed by the lad who came on and scored for Carlisle's reserves last week in their Cumberland Cup win. His name? Roddy Collins.

Fans give Flitcroft affair pasting

Frankly, Planet Football was aghast at the level of interest shown in the unmasking of the "adulterous" Premiership footballer by the English media on Friday night - pitiful, tacky, vulgar, tawdry, cheap nonsense, we reckoned. In other words, right up our street. We were particularly taken by the revelation that Garry "Love Rat" Flitcroft almost missed his wedding five years ago after being arrested on his stag night - and then had to delay his honeymoon for two days after losing his passport. What a guy.

Best of all, though, was the conversation we spotted on the messageboard of a Blackburn Rovers' website. "I thought they said it was a 'top Premiership player'?" Reply: "Remember, they couldn't reveal his identity before last night - if they'd said he was 'a donkey who can't pass, head or shoot straight', they'd all have known it was Flitcroft". Charming.

Chant of the week

"Does your missus know you're here?"

- Leicester fans after Garry Flitcroft (right) appeared for Blackburn at Filbert Street on Saturday.

Anagram anarchy

We're indebted to "A McHugh" for his/her contributions, via email, to our anagram fest, but when we tell you that just about the only ones we can publish, without risking ending up in the High Court on indecency charges, were 'Urine Detachments' and 'Stained hen rectum' (both Manchester United) you'll understand why we're not listing them all.

Quotes of the week

"You get the feeling that if we get back to the Premiership we could really set things on fire."

- Manchester City supremo Kevin Keegan proves that, despite several bitter footballing experiences, he still hasn't lost his sense of humour.

"I think the central midfield of Paul Lambert and Barry Ferguson is the best in Britain."

- Speaking of senses of humour, after this comment by Scotland manager Berti Vogts, who said Germans have none?

"Burnley striker Andy Payton's calls for the Adidas Predator football boot to be banned is a nonsense. Okay, he needed 35 stitches to his leg after he clashed with a player wearing the boots, but much worse has happened before."

- George Best, as quoted by Football 365, in his Mail on Sunday column.

"I found it all quite funny, to be honest."

- Rangers' Peter Lovenkrands after Lansdowne Road mistakenly booed his Danish team-mate Peter Madsen on Wednesday.

"We never got started, we simply got caught in their kick and rush style. It didn't help that the match was played on a rugby pitch, but we will not use that as an excuse."

-- Denmark's Christian Poulsen makes excuses.

No paws for Dixon

Sheridan Elliot? What can we say: loved your email. "The reference to those somewhat tactless remarks ("this is not one for the faint-hearted") during the Liverpool-Roma game jogged my memory, so I thought I'd alert you to a similarly unfortunate remark in ITV's Champions League coverage. The commentator was referring to a police dog that had spent the early part of the second half (in the Juventus-Arsenal game) barking his head off. The quote was: "I can't believe that dog's still going. Here's Dixon."

First class stamp cock-up annoys ref

Imagine Lars Johan Hammer's glee when he was informed by the Norwegian Soccer Federation that his face would appear on a stamp as part of their 100th anniversary celebrations. "I was really looking forward to it and had alerted all my relations to the big event," said the 27-year-old referee, according to UEFA.com, after 1.3 million (count 'em) of the stamps were printed by Norway's postal service. But when Lars was given a sneak preview of the stamp his lower lip began to quiver - the ref on the stamp wasn't him.

A mortified postal service promptly published a full-page "wanted poster" in the Verdens Gang newspaper, asking for tip-offs on the identity of the mystery man. Finally, they discovered he was German referee Peter Hertel who had officiated, alongside Hammer, at the 1997 Norway Cup, the annual youth tournament. All 1.3 million stamps have been binned and a new print run has been ordered.

More quotes of the week

"Look at the generation of our fathers or grandfathers who built Germany up after the War - they didn't have any squad rotation."

- Bayer Leverkusen coach Klaus Toppmoller on the merits of having a teeny squad.

"I must have played between 40 and 45 times this season. My legs feel heavy and I am weary."

- Fabien Barthez. Aaaah, bless.

"Normally, if I see Sweden in any competition, I want them to win, but this time, no. We have to kill them. We have to kill Sweden."

- Calm down Sven-Goran Eriksson, calm down. Remember, you have to go home at Christmas.

"We can confirm we have received an offer from Accrington Stanley."

- Daveed Ginola's worst fears realised when Everton FC confirmed rumours that the Unibond League side had attempted to sign him before the transfer deadline.

"I was scared to phone up and ask if Damien (Duff) could have only 45 minutes."

- Graeme Souness admits to being afraid of Mick McCarthy, which says a lot about Mick McCarthy.

Football on TV

Monday: Spurs v Leeds Utd, Sky Sports 1, 3.0.

Tuesday: Deportivo La Coruna v Manchester United, TV3, 7.45.

Wednesday: Liverpool v Bayer Leverkusen, TV3, UTV, 7.45.

Saturday: Celtic v Livingston, Sky Sports 1, 12.0.

Sunday: Bohemians v Dundalk (FAI Cup final), Network 2, 3.15; Leeds Utd v Sunderland, Sky Sports 1, 4.0.