Don Givens was surely delighted to see David Connolly continue his marvellous form for Wimbledon at the weekend, with two goals in their 5-3 win at Preston. Connolly may have harmed his international chances during his spat with Givens before Ireland's friendly with Greece last month, but his hot streak goes on regardless. It brought his total in an injury-interrupted season to 13. Even Robbie Keane, a scorer for Spurs yesterday, will have been impressed.
Away from home
Elsewhere it was quite a prosperous weekend for the Irish. Stephen Hunt got the winner for Brentford in their 2-1 win at York in the FA Cup second round, Willie Boland scored Cardiff's second in their 3-0 win at Margate, Barry Conlon grabbed Darlington's third in their 4-1 win over Stevenage and Irish youth international Reinier Moor scored for Exeter in their victory at Rushden & Diamonds.
Daryl Clare continued his good form with a goal in Chester's FA Cup defeat at Morecambe, while another name from Ireland's underage past, Niall Inman, scored in Kettering Town's 2-0 win at Gravesend in the Nationwide Conference. In Scotland, former Irish international Owen Coyle got the winner in Falkirk's 2-1 win over Arbroath.
Finally, a word for Arsenal's Ireland under-21 goalkeeper Graham Stack, who made the headlines this week for hitting and knocking out a thug who ran onto the pitch during Beveren's game with Royal Antwerp in Belgium's Jupiler League, where Stack is on loan. We're sure you've already heard, but such a fine punch deserves a second mention.
Napoli's donkeys
The clubs in Serie A have announced their revival with some splendid performances in the Champions League this season, but shame and humiliation continues to darken the door of some of Italy's most famous clubs.
Fiorentina's collapse may upset traditionalists more than the continuing slump of Napoli, but it's hard not to feel sorry for the club made famous by the genius of Diego Maradona.
As they languish near the foot of Serie B, morale has never been lower in Naples. A couple of weeks ago a donkey was brought to the club's training centre in Soccavo, a move believed to have been a motivational prank by chairman Salvatore Naldi. The braying of the beast distracted the players during training, however, and its appetite for the grass on the five-a-side pitch can have done nothing for the playing surface.
The chaotic scene, reported by Soccernet, was harmless compared to events the previous weekend though. Defender Francesco Baldini was ambushed by fans outside his home, where he was punched and kicked and generally ruffled up.
What Napoli need are players who can fight their corner. Is another loan for Graham Stack on the cards?
Quotes of the week
"David James is frustrated because he thinks us being bottom isn't helping his chances with England. I think it gives him more chance to show his 'ability'."
- West Ham manager Glenn Roeder insists the glass is half full.
"When I made a mistake I couldn't sleep, paced around all night and drank a lot of tea."
- Former Arsenal goalkeeper and football presenter Bob Wilson gives Jerzy Dudek valuable advice on how to get over his slump.
"We should be in the top four with our squad. We are 16th, just three points above the drop. It's a disgrace."
- French international midfielder Olivier Dacourt fires across Terry Venables' bows after Leeds' recent run of defeats.
"If he wants to go to Italy - and if someone is interested - I will personally drive him there."
- Venables hits back, accusing Dacourt of being selfish and of trying to engineer a move away from Elland Road.
Take two
TRY telling Oldham's Wayne Andrews that the English League is not the big time. The 25-year-old striker was plucked by the Second Division club from Ryman League team Chesham last summer and he clearly loves his job at Boundary Park. So much so that he gave up the chance to act alongside Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider 2 in order to concentrate on Oldham's promotion push.
Andrews has been on the big screen before, appearing with Vinnie Jones in Mean Machine. "I got a call to do Tomb Raider 2 in pre-season but I had already signed a contract here at Oldham," he revealed this week. "It wasn't a problem because I'm here to try to make a career in the game. There isn't a steady income in acting, but football is different and I want to make a go of it."
Acting talent abounds at Boundary Park; defender Fitz Hall appeared in the Bruce Willis movie The Fifth Element. Referees have been warned.
More quotes of the week
"Hey, maybe I ask your mother for the money."
- Fulham chairman Mohamed Al Fayed replies sarcastically to a journalist who joked that the multi-millionaire could afford to sign Rivaldo. Al Fayed said he was offered the Brazilian six months ago for £30 million.
"I have stuck the quotes on the fridge door just to keep Sarah on her toes."
- Southampton's James Beattie insists the news that Australian pop star Holly Valance has taken a shine to him hasn't fazed him or his girlfriend in the slightest.
"I've always believed that a player's boots should do the talking."
- Harry Kewell gets bitchy with Leeds team-mate Mark Viduka.
"Everton will be like pirates. After losing to us on Wednesday they will be playing with knives in their teeth."
- Chelsea manager Claudio Ranieri was fearful that things might get out of hand at Goodison Park at the weekend.
Make mine as Interbrew
Improved diets and fitness techniques may be all the rage in football these days, but not everyone is in a position to benefit. In fact Willington AFC, who play in the Albany Northern League in Co Durham, are doing quite the opposite. After being hit with a £3,800 bill by local brewery Interbrew for taking their business elsewhere, the club chairman, John Phelan, came to the conclusion that the only way to pay it was for the players to drink up.
"We are telling them they can drink as much as they want, whenever they want," said Phelan. "We have to get the debt down and this is as good a way as we can think of. They're going to have to guzzle the beer if they want to keep the team."
Somebody somewhere has calculated that the players will need to knock back 15,000 pints in order to get the club back in the black. We're certain the team's spirits will suffer.
Cut out for it
There are thousands of football-mad boys and girls who would love nothing more than to have David Beckham permanently in their bedroom. Fundraisers in Manchester have made it possible, auctioning off a batch of cardboard cut-outs of famous footballers donated by the supermarket chain Sainsbury's.
Beckham, naturally, has already been snapped up. "Most people have been buying them as gifts for their children, but there have also been a few female admirers wanting cut-outs of their football heartthrobs," said fundraiser Dawn Dimelow.
A Roy Keane dummy might sit nicely in Mick McCarthy's room, but we're sure he already features on the former Ireland manager's dartboard.
