Away from home: Everyone's favourite underachieving Irish winger, Mark Kennedy, got his first goal of the season for Wolves on Saturday in their 1-1 draw at Millwall.
Kennedy is the sort of character who is well liked by many of his present and former team-mates, but his old buddies at The Den wouldn't have been pleased with his fifth-minute goal. After an injury-blighted season it will do the Dubliner nicely though.
David Connolly's reputation continues skywards as he got his 14th goal of the season for Wimbledon on Saturday, earning them a 1-1 draw at home to Stoke City. We know Connolly wasn't happy to miss out to Bohemians' Glen Crowe for a place in the Ireland squad in Greece last month, but if anything the atmosphere in Selhurst Park is probably bettered in Dalymount these days - only 1,697 fans turned up to see Connolly continue his spectacular form.
It wouldn't be a proper weekend of football in England without an Irish sending-off and Darlington's Barry Conlon obliged this week. And he did it in style too, kicking the ball into the chest of Macclesfield's David Eaton as he lay on the ground and igniting a 20-player scuffle. Good work.
It was a quiet pre-Christmas weekend for Irish strikers, although former would-be Irish international Mickey Evans scored Plymouth's first in their 2-1 win over Port Vale. Don't remember him? Didn't think so.
A sticker situation
In the old days nothing could pump the adrenaline of a schoolboy better than a pocket-full of football stickers in the yard. Occasionally the race to fill an album spilled over into bad blood and black eyes, so it's appropriate that the two most famous names in the football sticker business - Panini and Topps - are themselves involved in a feud, and it has nothing to do with having too many blasted Iain Dowies.
Topps had been given exclusive rights to the 2002/2003 Premiership football season, but Panini tried to get in on the act by launching an unofficial Premiership album. The sly old dogs were this week told by a judge to remove their album and stickers, however, as they infringe on Topps' contract.
Not only that, but Topps are seeking damages, and the sums don't exactly amount to loose change: the industry in the UK is worth between £25 million and £30 million a year. "Children know the difference between a copy and the real thing," said a member of the Topps legal team.
As for Panini, not having rights to the Premiership is like telling a 10-year-old boy that the Diego Maradona card is no longer in circulation before the 1986 World Cup. It's the end of the world.
Quotes of the week
"I just feel broken all over."
- Chelsea defender William Gallas is feeling the pace of the Premiership.
"He is a legend in England and he has a good record in management."
- Mick McCarthy gets it half right as he touts Bryan Robson to succeed him.
"The birth was always planned around football. I didn't want to miss any games."
- Everton goalkeeper Richard Wright defends himself after his pregnant wife had their baby induced a week early so he could play in yesterday's Merseyside derby.
"When worn the right way the mullet is an ultra-cool statement and Beckham has the attitude and image to bring it back."
- David Beckham's dubious decision to grow his hair prompts squeals of delight from Barney Hoskyns, author of the magnificently named The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods.
"Well, it's a love-hate relationship and he loves me."
- Graham Taylor is confident he's on the Christmas card list of his Aston Villa chairman Doug Ellis. (spotted on dangerhere.com)
Friendly fire
Ireland's dismal match in Greece last month may have elevated the thoroughly modern football term "meaningless friendly" on to a whole new level, but there are still parts of the world where even the most irrelevant international stirs the blood of over-zealous supporters.
Last week in Lusaka, two players on the Zambian football team were injured when an angry mob smashed the windows of their team bus following their 1-0 defeat to Botswana in a friendly in Gaborone. Botswana had never beaten Zambia before and they lie 73 places below their neighbours in the FIFA world rankings.
Ireland of course have perfected a technique to prevent similar post-friendly violence: put the fans to sleep.
More quotes of the week
"I've actually spent time in the cells in Newcastle and they will be treated well because I know the cops there - although the tea is pretty crap."
- Former Celtic striker Frank McAvennie on the good and bad news facing Celtic's wayward stars in a Newcastle jail.
"He is always the first to give me a kiss on the head when I score a goal."
- Black Reading star Tony Rougier defends his team-mate John Mackie, who admitted racially abusing an opponent this week.
"People are trying to use this vacancy and manipulate the press for their own ends."
- The FAI's special adviser Bryan Hamilton doesn't appreciate it when candidates tout themselves for the Ireland job.
"Maybe these people would be better off pledging donations to charities than ringing up with petty concerns."
- Carlisle manager Roddy Collins suggests fans with complaints about striker Richie Foran should have something better to do.
The perfect gift
Good news for those German footballers who have pulled a Christmas cracker this year, so to speak. Players at Borussia Dortmund and Hertha Berlin have been encouraged to have plenty of sex if they want to fool their coaches into believing they have been working off the festive excess. Matthias Sammer and Huub Stevens have dished out expensive high-tech watches to their players, contraptions which can record their exercise levels over the next week.
Dr Kai Loehle, a Berlin medic, believes that the only way around it is to indulge between the sheets. "The only option to cheat the watch is with a sex marathon," he said. "During sexual intercourse one's pulse reaches the same rate as in football sprinting - about 190-200 for a few minutes." We hear one of these gadgets features prominently on the Christmas list of Dwight Yorke.
The Pig won't fly
Since retiring from the Liverpool wing in the 1980s, Australia's Craig Johnston has often had his hand in the footwear of the future. It was therefore no surprise to discover he has followed up his invention of the Predator with what he claims is an even more revolutionary football boot.
Part of the success of the Predator range was down to its stylish and innovative marketing campaign, which makes it even more unusual that he has called his new baby, the, er, Pig. "From the kids in the playground to the top pros, they will all want The Pig," insists Johnston.
Apparently the skin of the new boots will improve the control, power and accuracy of footballers everywhere. Johnston must also be concerned with the thickness of the skin of the poor kids who have to ask for them in the shops.
