How fitting it was that, last week, we should discover this ode on www.footballpoets.org, penned by Ramon Teeste, to the man who ended up being man of the match in Paris. Ready yourselves for a bit of badly-needed culture:

Poetry in motion

Zinedine Kilbane, the awkward motion of a galloping giraffe, yet similarly, as deceptively fast.

With all the dexterity of an elephant sewing, it's head down, push and run.

Up the line at speed, full backs hard pressed to keep up, he's lolloping like a lapwing.

Though no longer 'Killer' of lore, the gap-toothed smile, happily evident, all the more.

Quotes of the week

Reporter: "You must have been happy when you heard Patrick Vieira was sent off against the Faroe Islands?"

Brian Kerr: "Well, I wasn't disappointed, no. I wasn't going to put in a written appeal to UEFA for him."

"Only Fools And Norses Would Settle For A Draw."

- Headline in the Scottish Daily Record before the game against Norway, which Scotland lost.

"We are now ranked worse than teams like Guatemala and Zambia. Where is it all going to end?"

- Former Scottish international Gordon McQueen, complimenting Berti Vogts's reign.

"I am sick of playing poor football teams like Northern Ireland and Wales. Northern Ireland did not create one chance from a spell of good football. It was all high balls."

- Azerbaijan coach Carlos Alberto suggesting Lawrie Sanchez isn't an advocate of total football.

"He's a very experienced coach and did not mean it seriously."

- Spanish coach Luis Aragones, in trouble over his comment about Thierry Henry, gets support from Ron Atkinson. With friends like that . . .

"Ireland will play their normal game of high balls and battles in the air. We have to keep the ball on the ground and play our normal game. If we try to play their way it will be hard to get out of it."

- Robert Pires, assuming Jack Charlton is still at the helm, with Tony Cascarino up front.

"I'm aware that a match against Ireland doesn't have the appeal of one against Brazil, but if we want to play Brazil again we first have to beat Ireland. We can't skip steps."

- Too true, Mikael Silvestre, too true.

As fickle as it gets

We all, now and then, change our minds on the merits of certain footballers, but last week the Guardian spotted a rather spectacular U-turn by Tomas Roncero, a columnist with Spanish newspaper AS, on the subject of Michael Owen.

August 12th: "Anyone who questions Owen's ability is a cretin."

Last week: "Owen is a galactico de pacotilla (junk galactico). This newspaper said so on that ill-fated August 12th, that desperate day of self-inflicted pain when Madrid signed Owen, sold Eto'o to Barcelona and missed out on Patrick Vieira. Let's face it, Owen is not a galactico. No, no, no."

Aren't men fickle?

Mamae of all gambles

There are those who'd gamble their houses on the outcome of a football match. Solomon Islands resident Filia Mamae offered a different stake.

According to a local newspaper, the Solomon Star, Mamae was looking for an Australian prepared to agree to this deal: if the Solomon Islands beat Australia in their Confederations Cup qualifier, the Australian would pay Mamae $100,000; if Australia won, Mamae would give the Australian . . . his eight-year-old son.

Welfare authorities in the Islands, naturally enough, said, "Not on your nelly."

Heading for disaster

Some unkind folk allege that when it comes to football Americans just don't get it. We always disagreed, until we read that the New York State West Youth Soccer Association now makes its under-14 players wear headguards.

Grown-up players have started wearing them too, like San Diego Sockers' Carlos "Chile" Farias.

NYSWYSA now has a sponsorship deal with Full90 Sports, who have come up with the "Performance Headguard", designed, they say, "within the concept of Performance Protection Technology (PPT)".

"At its core, PPT combines applied physics, engineering and design with a deep appreciation for the heart and soul of an athlete, as well as absolute respect for the game they play."

Can you just imagine Jack Charlton's reaction if one of his centre halves had turned up for duty wearing one of these?

More quotes

"I will never say a bad word against Gerard Houllier, but if he had stayed I would have wanted to leave."

- Milan Baros, finally settled at Liverpool (well, now read on . . .).

"I have loved Barcelona since I was a child . . . Maybe a move can happen in the future. What wasn't in the summer can be in the future."

- Sounds to us like Baros has his bags packed.

"From what I can tell from a distance . . . Real Madrid are unbalanced. They have great figures and mediocre players. They are missing players of 'medium quality'. Those players that I call low-profile, that offend nobody."

- Jose Mourinho, still making friends in football.