What They'll Say, England v Tunisia

Terry Venables: "Alex, how much did you pay for Teddy Sheringham?"

Alex Ferguson: "Not saying."

Terry: "Go on."

Alex: "Nope."

Terry: "Ah go on, go on, go on, go on."

Alex: "Muffle, muffle."

Terry: "How much?"

Alex: "£3.5 million . . . you wouldn't fancy him for Crystal Palace next season, would you?"

Terry: "Emm . . . depends . . . how much?"

Alex: "A million."

Terry: "Give me another £500,000 and I'll take him."

Alex: "Deal."

Scotland v Norway

Ian St John: "Brian? Where's Big Ron?"

Brian Moore: "I locked him in the boot of our taxi when we arrived at the ground."

Ian: "Oh dear - why did you do that?"

Brian: "Last thing he said was `apparently that Colombian geezer Santa has a Claus in his contract allowing him to accept any gift-wrapped offers from Serie A' that was it, I couldn't take anymore. Oh look at that, terrible shot by Durie there."

Ian: "Aye, you could say the jury's out on Gordon, Brian."

Brian: (breaks down in tears). Big Ron (from inside of boot): "Yeah, the Juke Box is definitely struggling. Hello, anyone there?"

Patriotic ditty: No 5

Yes we love this country Which rises up Rugged and weathered, above the sea With its thousands of homes Love it, love it and think About our fathers and mothers And the saga of past ages That sends dream to the earth

- an extract from the Norwegian national anthem

Final shots: No 1

Written off by many a fan and in many a media quarter in the early part of the year when he returned to Tottenham for a second spell, Juergen Klinsmann announced his arrival at France 98 last night with a goal for Germany against the US. Klinsmann also played a part in Andreas Moeller's first-half opener which put the Germans in command. He clinched victory with a typically clinical 65th-minute strike - his 47th international goal in 105 matches for his country.

Don't write the old boy off yet.

The numbers game

Games to date: 16

Goals - 37 Average per game - 2.313

Bookings - 50 Average per game - 3.125

Sendingsoff - 3 Average per game - 0.188

Penalties - 2 Average per game - .125

Attendance - 688,509 Average per game - 43,032