THE battle for the Green Boot, the most prestigious (and perhaps only) footballing award for top Republic of Ireland-goalscorer abroad, is hotting up beautifully with Owen Coyle putting up a plucky defence of the gong he won last year, when he scored 27 goals for Airdrie. Remember? No? Coyle, who, at 36, is just about old enough to be Wayne Rooney's father, was recently appointed joint caretaker manager at Scottish first division leaders Falkirk, but all that new responsibility hasn't blunted his onion-b
Away from home
The battle for the Green Boot, the most prestigious (and perhaps only) footballing award for top Republic of Ireland-goalscorer abroad, is hotting up beautifully with Owen Coyle putting up a plucky defence of the gong he won last year, when he scored 27 goals for Airdrie. Remember? No? Coyle, who, at 36, is just about old enough to be Wayne Rooney's father, was recently appointed joint caretaker manager at Scottish first division leaders Falkirk, but all that new responsibility hasn't blunted his onion-b
Mind you, Connolly has scored his goals in a mere 17 games (the latest two against Brighton last Tuesday), while Coyle has taken 29 games. Some might contend, too, that goals are a touch harder to come by in the English first division, which is where Rotherham's Alan Lee does his thing - he's third in the list, on 13 goals, but hasn't scored now in six games.
Top scoring midfielder? Irish under-21 international Stephen Hunt, whose brother Noel recently joined Dunfermline from Shamrock Rovers. Stephen, a native of Waterford, got his ninth goal of the season for Brentford in a 2-1 defeat by Crewe on Saturday.
Brazil nuts are gems
Remember Alan Brazil? The Scottish forward who scored goals for Ipswich and didn't for Manchester United? These days he earns the bulk of his keep presenting a show on English radio station TalkSPORT and regularly comes out with gems like:
Brazil: "It was so sad to hear this morning of the death of John Shaw."
Mike Parry: "John Thaw, Alan."
Brazil: "Do you know, I keep getting his name wrong. John, if you're listening, sorry mate."
Last week? Another one, as heard by Football 365.
Brazil: "Do you know if Hansie Cronje is doing any media work during the cricket World Cup?"
Cricket expert: "Well, that'd be a bit hard from beyond the grave, mate."
Quotes of the week
"I've got a 50 per cent success rate now, but bang goes the pizza advert."
- Kevin Kilbane after scoring one of Sunderland's penalties against Blackburn in the FA Cup on Wednesday - a 100 per cent improvement on his effort against Spain at the World Cup.
"We did not deserve to lose today - we weren't beaten, we lost."
- A week late, but worth the wait - Howard Wilkinson's verdict on Sunderland's defeat by Charlton.
"Some people suspect it might be two months, but it shouldn't be. We don't really want to put a timescale on it. He could be back in three or four weeks, hopefully he will be, but we'll reassess in three weeks' time."
- Glenn Hoddle, talking about Anthony Gardner's injury. No timescale, then.
"Can you believe he is still going at almost 70? He must eat a football every day for breakfast."
- Arsene Wenger on the secret behind Bobby Robson's durability.
"Don't you think people are actually saying 'Oh, he's a silly old goat'."
- Bobby Robson on his public image.
"I feel sorry for him that he plays for Wales."
- Ruud van Nistelrooy, forgetting he has to travel to Cardiff for the League Cup final next month, tells Football 365 of his sympathy for Ryan Giggs.
Ginola on soap trail
You probably read over the weekend David Ginola has decided to make a serious attempt at becoming a serious actor, having acquired a taste for the business in those shampoo and coffee ads. Having already received private lessons from a French actor, who wishes to remain anonymous (unlike Eric to be shy), Ginola has applied to do a course with the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (RADA) in London. What intrigued us most about the story was the revelation in the London Independent that Ginola's agent had approached television companies about a part in Coronation Street or Emmerdale but was turned down because he demanded an excessive fee. Daveed in Coronation Street? As what? Les Battersby's long-lost brother?
Jones forgets script
Those of you familiar with Milton Keynes will be aware its most famous landmark is a set of concrete cows. Well, there's a one-in-three chance that very, very soon the cows will be overshadowed in the town's tourist attraction stakes, if some folk at Wimbledon Football Club get their way.
The club plans to have a bronze statue planted outside its new stadium in the town, one that will commemorate one of its finest footballing hours. There are three options - (1) Lawrie Sanchez's winning goal against Liverpool in the 1988 FA Cup Final, (2) Dave Beasant's penalty save from John Aldridge in the same game, or (3) Vinnie Jones squeezing Paul Gascoigne's wotsits in a 1987 first division match against Newcastle.
Vinnie Jones wasn't available for comment, but he probably doesn't remember the incident anyway - this is the man, after all, who began his tribute to the recently deceased Richard Harris with the immortal words: "We all remember Peter Harris."
More quotes of the week "With eight or 10 minutes to go, they were able to bring Nicky Butt back and give him 15 to 20 minutes."
- Niall Quinn, as heard by Private Eye.
"Dennis Bergkamp is like an English equivalent of Teddy Sheringham."
- Trevor Brooking, also heard by Private Eye.
"Going out of the cup could be a blessing in disguise."
- Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier insists losing 2-0 at home to Crystal Palace was a good thing. "Riiiiiight," said the Kop.
"He's 17, I know - but Pele was 17 when he won the World Cup in 1958 in Sweden and scored twice. It may be stupid of me to compare him with Pele because it's not easy to be a Pele."
- Sven Goran Eriksson on Wayne Rooney. No pressure Wayne, no pressure.
"To be honest, I just took what was available."
- Bolton manager Sam Allardyce admitting that he'd never seen Pierre-Yves Andre and Florent Laville play before he bought them during the transfer window.
Kahn not laughing
The 800 footballers from 40 countries who feature in EA Sports' FIFA 2002 computer game will be taking a special interest in a judgment due on March 14th from a Hamburg regional court. German goalkeeper Oliver Kahn is seeking damages of up to €1 million from EA Sports, and also wants the game taken off the shelves, because they used his image in FIFA 2002 game without his permission. He is also unhappy with how he is represented in the game, claiming he is portrayed as a "comic figure".
EA pay FIFA for the use of their name in the game and also have an "agreement" with Fifpro, the international players' union, on the use of players' names, but they never quite got around to consulting all 800 players on an individual basis. We assume 799 of them will be rooting for Kahn in Hamburg next month.
Dougie of the Rovers
The last 16 of the Nivea for Men Cup, Usher Celtic v Portmarnock. Centre-half Declan "Dougie" Dolan scores directly from a free-kick in the second half to give Portmarnock the lead, but Usher equalise and the game goes into extra-time. In the dying seconds Portmarnock's goalie is sent off after pulling down Usher's centre forward in a one-on-one - a penalty is awarded. Portmarnock have already used their three substitutes so Dougie volunteers to go in goal - he saves the penalty. A penalty shoot-out is then required. Dougie saves the first, then scores himself, then saves the second - and the third. Game over. Declan "Dougie of the Rovers" Dolan? We salute you.
