David Ginola: "Hello Rud, iz zat you?"

Ruud Gullit: "For sure - let me guess, is that Daveed?"

David: "Yes, it iz me. So Rud, how you zink I do on ze Bay Bay Say?"

Ruud: "Um, em, um - you are one of a kind Daveed, that's for sure."

David: "Zat good?"

Ruud: "Yes, that good Daveed. So, how do you think I am doing on ITV? Brilliant, yes?"

Daveed: "Oh, I am zorry Rud, like all ze Hinglish I only watch ze Bay Bay Say. Haw, he, haw. So how is Bob Will Sun? Haw, he, haw . . . you really were a zilly boy to join ITV. You make no advance with your career zat way." Ruud: "Yes Daveed, bit like you joining Spurs."

USA v Iran

BBC Producer: "David, John, we're asking you to be very careful with your comments during this game, it's a rather delicate affair. Just tread carefully, okay?"

David Pleat and John Motson: "Absolutely, no problem."

John: "Iran are doing rather well here, aren't they David?"

David: "Yes John, they've really laid siege to the American goal, their front men are taking no hostages at all. Contra to public opinion, they're a decent side, John." John: "Yes. By the way, are any of your family out here with you in France, David?"

David: "Unfortunately no. I asked my wife to come over for a second honeymoon, you know yourself, but she said `Not without my daughter, David', and slammed down the phone. She can be such a crank at times, John." John: "I know what you mean, I call my wife the Great Satan sometimes, she terrorises the living daylights out of me."

David: "Mine too, there are even times when I have to impose sanctions on her."

John: "Know what you mean David, know what you mean. Back to the war, er, match."

BBC Producer: "Gulp."

Quote of the day

"Platini and Blatter have a lot to do with what has happened with the referees who now feel under enormous pressure to get their cards out. It's a joke that two men, one of whom has never kicked a football in his life, are threatening to ruin the World Cup by their interventions."

- Denmark centre back Marc Rieper on the sending-off of his two team-mates on Thursday.