Leinster branch out: It just wasn't Swansea's night last Saturday when Leinster visited St Helen's.
Not only did they get a 51-10 thrashing but in keeping with the evening many of their supporters were scratching their heads as to just who had administered the beating. According to the match programme Leinster's six tries would have been scored by Gordon D'Arcy (3, correct) Kieran Lewis (2) and Des Dillon. D'Arcy did indeed get a hat-trick but the other try scorers were Brian O'Driscoll (2) and Aidan McCullen.
The reason for the mix-up was that the Swansea programme carried a Leinster team from a different match. For the record this is the team that the Swansea programme listed. Leinster: C Warner; J McWeeney (below), K Lewis, S Horgan, G D'Arcy; A Dunne, B O'Meara; P Coyle, P Smyth (capt), N Treston; B Gissing, A Kearney; D Dillon, V Costello, L Toland.
To compound matters further, the following replacements were listed, suggesting a newly-formed combination team for the Heineken Cup: Gary Powell, Andrew Lewis, Luke Tait, Dan McShane, Richard Smith, Nick Robinson, Nick Walne. We were going to offer a much sought after Irish Times top but instead decided to give a prize to the quiz below.
So to put our reader out of his misery, the aforementioned replacements are those belonging to another Welsh club side, Cardiff.
Breaking ground
RTÉ television is to broadcast a rugby magazine style programme in the New Year. Following on from their commissioning of a GAA equivalent, the highly-acclaimed Breaking Ball, and the Soccer Show, the powers that be at Montrose have chosen to direct their own resources at making the programme.
Ryle Nugent has been chosen to host the show for which the working title is Against the Head. The new series will begin in January 2003 and run for 13 weeks. Included in the package will be highlights of matches at various levels including AIB League Divisions One, Two and Three, Heineken Cup and Six Nations matches. Also featured will be a weekly analysis including studio guests of topical rugby items and features on players and clubs. It is the first time RTÉ has tried such a venture in rugby circles and they are hoping to catch not just the rugby fan but the sports fan. The programme will go out on a Monday night at 7.30 p.m.
Headline hic-cup
Those damn gremlins can surface at any time as our lone reader spotted. While keeping abreast of all things rugby he spotted the following sensational headline. "(David) Humphreys (above) in Munster XV despite injury". In fairness the copy bore no relation to the headline and given that people in glass houses shouldn't be lobbing the rocks we won't specify where this exclusive came.
Question time
The tedium of travel for any team is something players do not look forward to but it inspired one Leinster player to try to find a solution. New Zealand-born scrumhalf Benny Willis noticed most of the players were bored when travelling to matches so he decided to compile a little quiz to while away the hours.
On Friday night's specially chartered flight to Cardiff, the third manifestation of Willis' quiz appeared as soon as the Leinster squad was airborne. Willis handed out photocopied sheets of the 26 questions and the players, seated in twos, would compete for a prize. Willis even brought spare pens to hand out. To protect the reputations of the guilty we will not name and shame those who finished bottom of the class. Suffice to say this week's smarties - that was the prize they were given - were David Quinlan and Aidan McCullen.
With Benny's permission Planet rugby has decided to see how you, the reader would fare, and we have specially selected six of the questions; they are laid out below. Email the correct answers, stating your name and address to josullivan@irish-times.ie no later than Thursday 1 p.m. and we might just organise a bit of Irish Times merchandise as prizes.
PS. If like Brian O'Riordan you are under-21 Magnum PI was a detective series in the 1980s.
1. Who shot Mr Burns?
2. Who sculpted "The Thinker".?
3. Name three other characters from Magnum PI?
4. A man leaves home, jogs a certain distance, turns 90 degrees left, jogs the same distance, turns 90 degrees left, jogs the same distance, turns 90 degrees left and arrives back home. A man in a mask is waiting for him. What is the situation?
5. Tom Hanks won two consecutive Oscars. For what films?
6. Who am I? There is two of me in a decade, one of me in a millennium and one of me in a year.
Cockerill's goose is cooked
Former Leicester and England hooker Richard Cockerill was certainly no shrinking violet and it appears not much has changed since his move to join French club Montferrand during the summer. Cockerill was noted for his constant sledging of opponents, manifest in his contretemps with former All Black hooker Norm Hewitt during the Haka, prior to an international match at Twickenham. Off the pitch, and this column has it on the very good authority of Geordan Murphy who had Cockerill as a landlord for several years, he is apparently a very nice person and good company.
But as he confesses himself once he steps over the white line he can't help dishing a dose of the verbals. Last Saturday he returned to England in Montferrand colours to the Memorial Ground, home of Bristol, and the famed West Country wit was very much in evidence.
Cockerill was up to his usual tricks but the crowd rather than the Bristol players decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. His throwing into the lineout was neither a thing of great beauty nor accuracy and the crowd slagged him mercilessly.
Obviously there were one or two home supporters who knew a few mots of French because the cry of "Poulet crap, poulet crap" (You have to say it quickly) rang up around the ground, to the tune of Allez bleu.
Chicken, a bit of a loose translation? It didn't matter Cockerill's goose was well and truly cooked, the sentiments of the fans abundantly clear.
