Quotes of the week
"Why have Chelsea suffered so much since I left? Because I left."
- Jose Mourinho, with a grin.
"I have sympathy for Scolari. He had my support, that's for sure, and two or three other players will say exactly the same thing, I'm sure."
- John Terry on the slightly less than unanimous backing Luiz Felipe Scolari received from the Chelsea squad.
"There has been a lack of success at Chelsea. When that happens the blame comes down on to the weakest link in the chain: the manager."
- Michael Ballack, we're guessing, wasn't one of the "two or three".
"I'm totally adapted to the English customs, apart from the food. The dishes aren't great . . . Pepe saves me because it's amazing how many visitors he has who bring him Spanish food – he's like a mobile larder."
- Liverpools Xabi Alonso on raiding Pepe Reina's fridge.
Kuranyi victim of computer hacker
OUT-OF-SORTS Schalke striker Kevin Kuranyi was the victim last week of a computer hacker who managed to put an announcement on the club’s website that he had had his contract terminated and had been released. “I had numerous missed calls and umpteen texts. ‘What is up with you?’ almost everyone said. You have to take it almost with humour,” said the player, who narrowly escaped joining Blackburn during the transfer window.
The club condemned the hacker and insisted Kuranyi was going nowhere, which, alas, seems also to be the view of most Schalke supporters. The ‘announcement’ widely reported in the German media led to “rejoicing on fans’ forums”, swiftly followed by mourning when it was discovered it was a hoax. Poor lad.
More quotes of the week
“It won’t faze him at all. One of his great attributes is that he doesn’t think too much, so I think he’ll be okay.”
- West Ham goalkeeper Robert Green confident his team-mate, Carlton Cole, won’t give his international call-up a thought.
“He trained with us for the first time last Tuesday and I was really surprised – he is really small.”
- Gael Clichy on his first impressions of his new Arsenal team-mate, Andrey Arshavin.
“I can’t stand this situation anymore. They have neither included me for the Champions League nor do they want to play me in La Liga. Juande (Ramos) does not have any confidence in me. I want to leave Madrid. I can’t bear this.”
- Dutch striker Klaas-Jan Huntelaar settling in nicely at Real Madrid, six weeks after joining the club.
“I don’t see things the way my parents do. They can look at a tree and see something amazing, whereas I just see a tree.”
- Arsenal's Robin Van Persie.
Vidmar has ants in his pants
ADELAIDE United manager Aurelio Vidmar, a former captain of Australia, didn’t take all that kindly to his team’s performance in a 4-0 defeat by Melbourne Victory, declaring after the game that “we owe the world an apology”. He then let rip at the club and a section of its support for petty infighting, referring to Adelaide as “a piss-ant town”. That should go down well.
The previous most famed use of the term, according to Wikipedia, came from a Virginia politician who once silenced a heckler by saying: “I’m a big dog on a big hunt and I don’t have time for a piss-ant on a melon stalk”. And with that, we’re guessing, the heckling ceased.
Even more quotes of the week
“For half a year I was a bit morose. I just sat around, ate chocolate and watched porn. I didn’t do much at all really: I was all about chocolate and porn. But then I got a job gardening, and now I feel good. I know I can get a club in England.”
- Australian Ljuobo Milicevic, who was sacked by Melbourne Victory last year, intent on playing in the Premier League after a few months of rest and relaxation.
“I nearly threw a 180 once. The first two went in the treble but then I hesitated, thinking, “Oh my god”, and the third dropped just below the wire. Damn!”
- Van Persie again. Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor can, it seems, rest easy.
Snail tale
THE credit crunch, by the sounds of it, has yet to hit Italian football. After rupturing knee ligaments last December AC Milan’s Gennaro Gattuso will be out of action for about six months, but his team-mates have been finding ways of keeping him busy.
“They were all prepared to bet that I would not be brave enough to eat a live snail,” he said. “There were 24 of them and I told them I would do it, but they had to hand the money over to our fitness trainers. In the end, I really ate it and I clearly survived. Wouldn’t you do it, if they offered you €25,000? You would, so that’s no big thing.”
