Today's other stories in brief

Quotes of the week

"There's a lot of hypocrites out there in football. You hear other managers - and I'm talking big managers - talking about respecting referees, but the same managers have been sent off for foul and abusive language. Makes me sick, some of them."

- Roy Keane hinting at a schism in his friendship with Alex Ferguson.

"Mascherano and Cole were out of order. They've apologised, but then you get ex-players coming out of their holes and being offered a grand to slag someone off. They're all hypocrites. Half of these people, they cheated on their wives and yet they're slagging players off. Idiots, absolute idiots."

- Keane again, hinting at a schism in his friendship with absolute idiots.

"We've got a good team, we've got good players, we just need to take the positives from this and move on."

- David Beckham after LA Galaxy lost 4-0 to Colorado Rapids in the opening MLS game of the season. He'll be a while searching for the positives, we fear.

"I must admit I suffered a bit when I first came to England. But then I realised that there was nothing to be intimidated by, everybody had two legs."

- Liverpool's Lucas on how his limb-counting abilities have helped him settle in England.

"Paul Ince is Paul Ince, he's got his own style of management. People thought I was mad when I went to Macclesfield Town. They thought, because I was a big name, I should put my feet up and wait for a big club, but Paul Ince is not like that. Paul Ince, the footballer is gone, this is a new chapter in my life."

- Eh, Paul Ince.

"We need to be role models when we play for England and for our clubs. Part of this involves fair play and respect towards the referee and the public who come to see the games."

- Fabio Capello, as good as admitting most of his English squad is ineligible for the role of captain.

"We're definitely not safe yet but we can look up not down,"

- Newcastle manager Kevin Keegan after yesterday's 4-1 win at Tottenham

 Clough loses out

A SECTION of the population of Middlesbrough was polled recently to find out who was the city's favourite son. The very great and very unique Brian Clough, we assumed, would be the answer.

But no, Clough got just 10 per cent of the vote, trailing, by some distance, 'comedian' Roy Chubby Brown, Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson and Middlesbrough winger Stewart Downing.

Semi-comfort for Grant

WE LOVED the tale about Avram Grant as told by the Daily Mirror's Oliver Holt last week. After losing to Spurs in the League Cup final Grant's father Meir, "a Holocaust survivor who has never been able to talk about the horrors he witnessed but whose nightmares make him scream in terror in his bed", tried to comfort his son.

"I was standing there with my sister after the game," said Grant, "and my father says: 'There are worse things in life than losing a cup final, you know'.

"My sister and I were standing there thinking: 'Is he about to talk about it for the first time, is he about to mention the Holocaust?' So we waited for him to speak and then he said: 'You could have lost in the semi-final'."

Sweet.

Stopper who needs a plug

A BIG thank you to Paul from Stamullen for sending us this photo (above), depicting possibly the most humble football person on earth. We don't know his name, but we're fairly certain it's not Jose.

Jari has Fulham in Dire Straits

REMEMBER THAT tune by pop combo Dire Straits, Money for Nothing? We thought of it last week when we read about Jari Litmanen's contribution to Fulham's battle against relegation since he joined them in January.

The Finnish legend, now 37, was a free agent when Fulham manager Roy Hodgson snapped him up in the transfer window and he expressed considerable delight at the prospect of playing in England again, after his spell with Liverpool a few moons ago.

But? And it's a big but: Litmanen has yet to make a single appearance for Fulham, blaming heart palpitations and a groin injury for his inability to justify the £15,000-a-week he is being paid by the club. "Jari hasn't completed more than 10 per cent of our training sessions," said a somewhat peeved Hodgson last week. "He hasn't played one game in a Fulham shirt - but has played two matches for Finland. He has been injured but, strangely, the fitness periods seem to coincide with Finland matches."

Savage in training for 4am viewings

THERE'VE BEEN a whole bunch of surveys recently asking English Premier League supporters which player they loathe the most: it's generally been a closely fought thing between Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard, although Cole's been winning out of late. Can't think why. Not so long ago these polls were quite unnecessary because there simply was no rival to Robbie Savage. It's not that Robbie is loved these days, it's just that since his move to Derby he's become slightly less high profile.

Still, a fortnight ago he did his best to remind us why he used to top these polls: "The last 11 years I have always known Premier League football. I wind some of my mates up who play in the Championship telling them I couldn't stay up until 4am in the morning to watch the highlights on Granada." Saturday? Derby were relegated. Next season? Robbie will have to stay up til 4am if he wants to see himself on telly. Unless, of course, Real Madrid snap him up in the mean time.