A round-up of today's other Soccer stories
Viatri's season suffers unkind cut
NOT for the first time this year, alas, a footballer is in trouble with the law. This time it's Boca Juniors striker Lucas Viatri who, his lawyer announced last week, is to face court proceedings over allegations of theft.
Viatri, who has scored seven goals in 12 games for Boca this season, denies the charges, insisting he was training with his club when the crime occurred. The allegations? He stole hair spray and a pair of scissors from a hairdressing salon. He's already spent a month in jail, during preliminary investigations earlier this year, which must make Joey '74 days in jail for a savage, drunken attack' Barton very grateful he wasn't born in Argentina.
Chinese puzzle perplexes Pique
WHEN Manchester United sold Gerard Pique to Barcelona earlier this year Alex Ferguson wished the fella all the best - well, at least Pique thinks he did.
"The gaffer, as Ferguson is known in Manchester, spoke in English with a Scottish accent but it sounded like Chinese to me. But I was not the worst and there are players still there who do not understand him yet," he said last week.
What Pique also failed to understand was the diet of his team-mates. "There were some incredible things happening. Everyone was allowed to eat what they wanted and one must remember that the English diet is just like people say. Every two weeks we had to be checked out on a machine that measured the amount of fat we had in our bodies. It would be a surprise that none of the players broke the machine because of the amount of hamburgers and beer they had."
Wayne Rooney was unavailable for comment.
Diaz's double
TRUE, lookalikes are in the eye of the beholder but we were still less than convinced by some of the "resemblances" published by the Daily Maillast week, not least the claim that Hollywood actress Nemanja Vidic and Manchester United's Cameron Diaz were separated at birth.
Fulham's Jimmy Bullard won't be happy either with the suggestion he's Mrs Doubtfire's double. More convincing is the pairing of Coronation Street actor Gordon Strachan and Celtic manager Chesney, Les Battersby's stepson.
Bologna fan gets shirty
"I AM very upset and disappointed," said Bologna's Vangelis Moras, "I have never seen anything like it." "I was stunned," added club director Pier Giovanni Ricci. What happened?
Well, picture the scene. Relegation-battlers Bologna are away to Siena and they earn themselves a priceless point in a 1-1 draw. At full-time the euphoric players run to their supporters to celebrate the result, and one of them, a jubilant Moras, throws his shirt in to the crowd. And what happens? The shirt is thrown back at him. By a Bologna fan. A horrible thing to do, we shouldn't laugh, but . . .
Quotes of the week
"It was his weekend off. He can do what he wants. Do you spend time with your girlfriend? Do you go to the cinema with her? Would you like her to kiss you now and then? That's what Artur has done. I still go to the cinema with my wife. I still kiss her. She doesn't like it, but there you go." - Gordon "Casanova" Strachan defends Artur Boruc after he was spotted out on the town.
"Jesus Christ, if I start losing sleep over Phil Babb I'm in trouble. Babbsie is prone to coming up with all sorts of stuff. He is paid by Sky." - Roy Keane on being told Babb added fuel to the rumours that Keane had left Sunderland.
"It has not affected him. He's just too dopey and too thick to let things like that affect him." - Middlesbrough's Andrew Taylor explaining why team-mate David Wheater wasn't bothered about being dropped. Nice.
"I think I overrated his importance. When Cristiano does not score, his role is limited. Yes, he is fast, but countless step-overs are not necessarily productive." - Marcos Senna, Villarreal's Eamon Dunphy.
"I am the first, second and third best player in the world. But there are other good candidates, like Kaka, Messi and Torres." - Ronaldo differs with Senna.
"It is embarrassingly ridiculous. For people to do duckwalks? They usually have plenty of time to practice because they don't score very often - it's usually about four months later. And if I see another baby celebration I will go ballistic. It's just my age." - Martin O'Neill on modern day goalscoring celebrations.
"He sat downstairs as if it was the most normal thing for a multi-millionaire footballer to do. Word quickly went round about who he was. Nobody quite believed it and some just stared open-mouthed." - A commuter on spotting Robinho on a Manchester bus.
"I am trying to defend myself a bit without giving names. Otherwise I'm taking it all (the blame). It's very frustrating. I'm 31, the player is six years younger than me." - Arsenal's William Gallas didn't name names, but Robin van Persie is six years his junior.
"If he does not win this year, he should pack his suitcase and go back to his own country. Mourinho is simply someone who should be smacked in the mouth." - Catania director Pietro Lo Monaco on his love for Jose.
"In my three months with Tottenham they have only tested me twice. For them it only matters how you play. You may be over 150 kilos but if you play well they don't care how fat you are." - Roman Pavlyuchenko, before tucking in to a batter burger, chips and onion rings.
"Even if I was interested I'd have to put a good 10 years training in. By the time I'm 42 I think I'll be too old to be throwing things around." - Rory Delap on the prospects of throwing javelin for Ireland at the London 2012 Olympic Games.
"Kick him out. It only costs $4 million. If they want, Recordwill pay the first dollar." - Mexican newspaper Recordurging the country's FA to dispense with the services of Sven-Goran Eriksson.
