GOLF:NEWCOMERS TO our Fantasy Golf competition might not be aware that we have an unofficial poet laureate by the name of Hugh O'Connor. His finest work so far, in our humble opinion, came last September when he issued an all-rhyming plea to Colin Montgomerie for a wild card spot on the Ryder Cup team.

Well, we all want that Cup to come home,

Back across the Atlantic foam.

If he wants to pick me.

I assure him I’m free.

Im just sitting here making up poems.

We don’t think we’re being unfair on our wordsmith when we say that when he puts pen to paper (or, more probably, fingers to keyboard), it’s often when he’s trying to take his mind off his struggling Fantasy Golf line-ups.

Alas, it looks like Hugh is experiencing no upturn in fortunes this year, although he was admirably restrained when he simply described his 2011 teams as “bad”. So, “at lunchtime” one day recently, he turned his thoughts to Rory McIlroy, penning an ode or two to his heroics at the US Open.

If Mr Nicklaus ain’t watching his back,

Now Rory’s discovered the knack,

He’s won his first Open,

And now he’ll be hopin’,

For seventeen more to catch Jack.

He also had kind words for the runner-up at the Congressional (and, more notably, his beloved).

Congrats to the young Jason Day,

Though the Open did not go his way,

But if you’ve noticed his wife,

Then you know that, in life,

Our Jason’s the winner today.

And, finally, some reassurance for managers of McIlroy who are wondering when his post-US Open-break will end.

We now know it’s Rory’s intent,

To take some time off now he’s spent.

’Cause he’s not going to play,

’Till British Open Thursday,

So we’ll see him in three weeks in Kent.