Praise the Lord and pass the sick bag

LAST Tuesday night those lovely, nice people at Sky Sports finally stopped teasing the 80 per cent of their Irish subscribers…

LAST Tuesday night those lovely, nice people at Sky Sports finally stopped teasing the 80 per cent of their Irish subscribers who hadn't paid the extra fee to see Tyson vi Holyfield live and gave us a look at the highlights of the big night's entertainment. And was it worth the wait? In a word, yep. What we saw was one of the great sporting contests of our time.

Now, we're not talking about the two lads' world title fight at all you'd see a better scrap in Westmoreland Street at the weekend in the queues for the last Nitelink. No, it was the contest between "Evangeliser" Holyfield and American television's Ferdie Machecho during the post-fight interview that was the most gripping of all.

Evangeliser is a holy man, of that there is no doubt, but he demonstrated his holiness to such an extent during the interview that poor old Ferdie was almost tempted to land a swinging right hook on the Champ's jaw.

"Tell us Evander, how did you do it," asked Ferdie. "Well you know, I give glory to God. You can't choose against God you can choose against me anytime, but when God is involved Jesus is alive and he takes the credit for it and I thank God," said the Champ.

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"But how did you win with such assurance," tried Ferdie, again. "Because any time that somebody puts God up there... my God's the only true God and everything must bow to God," he said.

"Well, apart from that and apart from religion, because. "God is here I hope for all of us but let's get off that, let's get on to boxing. How did you fight such a brilliant fight?"

"Well you know, I'm led by the spirit of God and, like I told everybody, whatever the spirit led me to do that's what I would do. They said I was washed up, but with God I'm not washed up."

Ferdie was close to tears. "DID YOU SEE HIM GETTING TIRED, DID YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE HIM ON AT THE END," tried Ferdie. Again.

"It wasn't about getting tired, it was about what the Lord wanted me to do, I just have to give praise to God," said our boxer. You just knew. Ferdie wanted to yell Jesus Christ at this point, but if he had Evangeliser would only have said "Hallelujah". So he didn't and gave up.

Back in the Sky studio, presenter Paul Dempsey had caught the bug as well. "It was certainly the greatest sporting experience of my life, even more than that, an emotional, even a religious experience. You know Holyfield's God made him a strong, man on the night," said Dempsey.

"Yeah, he was lifted, just spiritually lifted," replied guest Glenn McCrory, while a bemused looking Barry McGuigan sat there wondering if he was really on the set of Songs of Praise.

Holyfield may have had God on his side as he forced Mike Tyson to do a Frank Bruno impression in the closing stages of their fight, but there are more than a few Celtic fans who believe that divine intervention, rather than their team, will prevent Rangers from equalling their beloved nine-titles-in-a-row record this season.

"Personally I don't think God would allow them to win nine-in-a-row," said one holy Celtic fan in the build-up to Thursday's Old Firm, derby on Sky Sports. But, after yet another defeat by their neighbours, the Bhoys better start praying soon.

Phil Neal and Manchester City could also do with a little help from above at the moment as the club plummets ever closer to Division Two. On Monday Sky Sports Centre interviewed a surprisingly chirpy Neal, City's fourth (and counting) manager this season, who firmly believed he could help put things right at Maine Road.

"I have to make the players enjoy what they do and you've seen that in the training game this morning," he said. And indeed we got a glimpse of that game, which offered plenty of hope for the future when City clinched a morale-boosting 0-0 draw against a set of jumpers. But then they lost to Oxford and Portsmouth in the league. "Don't write my epitaph just yet gentlemen," said Neal to the press afterwards. Okay Phil, we'll give you the same length of time as Steve Coppell.

Peculiar things were happening at TnaG last Monday night during their Spanish football programme, Ole, Ole. We had been concerned about the voice of commentator Brian Tyers the Monday before, when it all but disappeared during his impassioned description of the match between Santander and Betis, 50 we tuned in again to see how he was holding up.

He was a little hoarse, but who could blame him as he commentated on a thrilling 3-3 draw between Barcelona and Atletico Madrid at the Nou Camp. Well, we think it ended in a 3-3 draw because as the ref was checking his whistle the picture disappeared and, after a few moments, up popped a press conference held by Donegal County Council at the Mount Errigal Hotel in Letterkenny. Spooky.

TnaG's team of technicians were quickly on to the job though and in no time we were back at the Nou Camp to see the post match interviews. "B'e soccer an buatoir inniu," said (unbeknownst to himself) Barcelona's Guardiola. Surreal.

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times