The first recorded incident of a sports streaker in these islands occurred in the salubrious setting of Bedford Town FC on March 9th, 1974. Like punk rock, it went on to have a moderately interesting innings, but as we observed at Lansdowne Road on Saturday, the sight of naked bodies in public places has as much appeal these days as would-be musicians with safety-pins stuck in their faces.

It's a long way from Bedford FC to what BBC television commentator Bill McLaren described as an "aristocrat of rugby union grounds which is awash with Grand Slam fever as this second oldest rugby international of them all is about to get under way".

And there was I, as an infrequent visitor to Lansdowne Road, under the impression that, where modern facilities are concerned, a once celebrated venue had fallen on lean times in comparison with other major rugby grounds.

Perhaps the most obvious weakness of this latest streak was that the principal was distinctly lacking in physical appeal, certainly from this viewer's perspective. Sadly for him, the standards set by Erika Roe in her famous, half-time cavort during the 1982 international between England and Australia at Twickenham were formidable.

At this remove, it is interesting to recall the reaction of her father, Peter. "She spent her childhood in Africa where such things are not regarded with disfavour. It is seen as being perfectly natural. I first saw the incident on the news. It was a lovely picture. She had her arms out, just like the Pope."

Brian Moore, sitting in the commentary box beside the Scottish maestro last Saturday, was somewhat less indulgent. "I'd love to give him a good kicking quite frankly, because this is very boring," said the former England forward. Which prompted McLaren to chuckle rather mysteriously: "I know somebody who would give him a good kicking."

But back to the rugby: before the match, Jonathan Davies had asserted that it was "vitally important" for England to secure the Grand Slam, "because of previous defeats". He added: "If they lose, it is inevitable that questions will be asked about their character. "

So, how were things looking at half-time? "They're trying to play too much football," complained the former Wales outhalf. He then took full advantage of some wonderful camera work for Keith Wood's try, highlighting an apparent obstruction by Irish flanker Eric Miller which facilitated the hooker's path to the England line.

Mind you, Davies added: "I don't think any other hooker in the world would have scored that try, because he came so quick. He was electric."

Over on RT╔, the ebullient George Hook assured us: "The plan is working."

What more could we ask for? During the hectic, final minutes of the match, we could have asked for some respite from an almost continuous English onslaught. When it was all over, Tom McGurk turned to Hook with the taunt: "You may now get down on your knees and offer penitence."

To which there was a reaction worthy of a big-hearted Irish performance. "I was wrong," Hook admitted without equivocation. Referring to Irish coach Warren Gatland, Hook went on: "I didn't believe he could deliver this kind of performance. He has done it and it would be absolutely wrong not to give him 100 per cent, magnanimous credit."

There was also an acknowledgement of Gatland's generosity of spirit in declining to round on his detractors in his moment of triumph. All of which contrasted sharply with the sight of England absentee Martin Johnson and injured captain for the day, Matt Dawson, receiving their medals and trophy as winners of the International Championship. One could understand their disappointment at missing out on the Grand Slam for a third successive year, but could they not have been gracious losers? Their reaction was entirely out of character with the outstanding sportsmanship I have come to expect from our brethren across the water.

Switching rather reluctantly from Lansdowne Road to Sky Sports 3, I was just in time to catch the tail-end of their transmission of the Dunhill Links Championship. And it wasn't a pretty sight, with players covered head to toe in wet gear as protection against heavy rain and high winds.

South African Johann Rupert, managing director of the sponsoring company and himself a competitor, was interviewed about the new tournament. "It's nice to see people like Hugh Grant and Michael Douglas - of course he's an absolute fanatic - and Sam Jackson, who plays a great game," he said.

"Grant's swing is magnificent. I watched him a bit on television. Despite what the papers say, and it seems that all the English papers are paid to be cynical, I would love to have seen some of those writers out here, when they bad-mouth some of the celebrities. What they don't understand is that children love to see celebrities, and if you want more people to play golf, it's the way to go. Golf writers depend on the game, so I would suggest they lay off people and compliment it."

Turning to handicaps - and adjustments were made to no fewer than 39 of the competitors' - he said: "At Pebble (Beach), they also allocate handicaps at the AT&T tournament. It's not that we try to penalise people, but when people go out in a practice round and shoot 76 or 77 off 14 or 16 handicaps, and come in and talk about it, well, they're going to get done."

When Rupert had had his say, we had this reaction from the syrupy, sycophantic Ewen Murray. "Hear, hear as far as Johann Rupert is concerned," enthused Sky's golf commentator, who later added: "If you want to criticise, I suggest you do so and wander off home."

I'm sure Murray's fellow professionals will be delighted to hear that a former winner of the Zambian Open so roundly endorses such views on golf promotion and amateur handicaps.