"We all knew we had to roll up our socks."

- Les Ferdinand gets his metaphors in a muddle when talking about Spurs' mini-revival.

"Football managers are like a parachutist. At times it doesn't open. Here, it is an umbrella. You understand, Mary Poppins?"

- Do you think Chelsea manager Claudio Ranieri's English lessons are going well?

"I love Italy. I have been lucky to do well against Italian teams. I love the people here. I come to Sardinia on holidays, my bambini have grown up here."

- David O'Leary. Bambini. Lazio. Managerial. Vacancy. Hmm.

"Pele already is consecrated as the athlete of the century. Maradona is dreaming and should stay asleep."

- Former Brazilian megastar Mario Zagallo on the FIFA internet survey to discover who was the greater player, Pele or Maradona.

"A cretin suffers from a thyroid deficiency. It comes from an 18th century French word and was initially directed at people living in the valleys of the Alps and the Pyrenees. In some cases it is said to lead to dwarfism, and I'm 6 ft 5 in for heaven's sake."

- Aston Villa goalkeeper David James's wordy response to Paolo di Canio calling him a cretin.