"Slapper Vieira Sent Off Again."
Curious headline on the Sun's football website following young Patrick's dismissal against Sunderland.
"I no longer drink. At most I will have a glass of wine . . . I want to play until I am 38 and I think Everton can win the title."
He may be off the booze but Paul Gascoigne is clearly taking some other form of mind-warping substance.
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"The most reviled couple since Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun."
Daily Mirror columnist Brian Reade's description of . . . Posh Spice and David Beckham. Get a life, Brian.
"Tottenham will win the Premiership, or at least get in the Champions League."
Spurs' new signing Sergei Rebrov displays a wicked sense of humour.
