"I was inbred into the game by my father."

- Spurs director of football David Pleat telling us a lot more than we needed to know about his football background.

"His hairstyle makes him look like Coco the Clown and at times I'm afraid he has acted like a clown."

- Good to see they're sticking together at Chester and there are no recriminations after the club lost its Football League status (as proved by manager Ian Atkins' comments about club owner, Terry Smith).

"The players will return from their close season break and then embark on a pre-season tour of Swindon, which will include four games."

- Exciting times ahead for the footballers of Stockport County, according to their official website. (Actually, "Swindon" should have read "Sweden").

"Having to apologise to him was like having to take my pants down in front of him. I only did it for the president."

- He may have been their goalscoring hero against Bayern Munich but something tells us that Nicolas Anelka's relationship with Real Madrid manager Vicente del Bosque still isn't all the best.

"Lorenzo Amoruso is not a great player - he thinks he's a great player. He'd make even the slowest striker look half decent. Somebody compared him to Billy McNeill but I don't remember Billy being crap."

- Tommy Docherty, in a glowing tribute to the Rangers' player.