"We are very, very upset. This cancellation changes all our plans." - Olympiakos spokeswoman Olga Nikolaidou complains about UEFA's decision to postpone last Wednesday's Champions League matches because of events in America. Crikey Olga, get a grip.

"From a strictly journalistic standpoint I would compare the transfer to Patrick Vieira announcing he's quitting Arsenal to join Doncaster Rovers." - Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan after chief football writer Harry Harris left to join the Daily Express. Miaow.

"The only difference between normal people and I is that I work for Real Madrid." - Zinedine Zidane assuming we all cost our bosses £48 million.

"One doctor told me that drink was like a tap that you could switch on or off. I was really pleased to hear that from a doctor, although I know now that once I turn on the tap, I leave it running." - George Best on his battle with the booze.