"Phil Thompson is Liverpool through and through - he's got red blood running through his veins."

- Private Eye's "Colemanballs" produces the goods, again.

Question: With which club did Roy Keane play before Manchester United? Answer: It was a Dublin club - Shelbourne.

As heard on a BBC quiz show last week.

"Those who consider me slow don't know me very well because I have never been quick."

- Laurent Blanc being blunt.

"I am the French bin Laden."

Arsene Wenger on his declining popularity with the French public since objecting to half of Highbury being shipped to Australia for the friendly with France.

"They gave the players an arousing reception."

- TV3's Packie Bonner, as observed by Football 365 at the end of Celtic's 4-3 win over Juventus.

"I was Shay Brennan once."

- Newcastle's Shay Given on life with Bobby "what's your name again?" Robson.