Caddie's RoleWentworth, the leafy luxurious country club in the stockbroker belt of Surrey, was the scene of the World Matchplay Championship last week. It marks the start of the "silly season" of tournaments for the already packed annual schedule for those players who have the world at the end of the steps of their private aircraft.
It is an indication of just how difficult it is for top players to choose their schedules. Not that I am looking for you to pass the handkerchiefs as you weep in sympathy with these very talented superstars and the draining process of deciding which multi-million euro prize-fund to play for each week. But deciding where to play is probably the most important priority for those with a choice.
I noticed that Tiger Woods's manager was lurking with intent at the pro-am around the Burma Road or the West Course in Wentworth last Wednesday. He was not there for a holiday I am sure. With HSBC finishing their association with the World Matchplay after this year I suspect another event awaits their very generous sponsorship next year. The world's best golfer, I assume, is destined for the world's biggest local bankers' future destination.
These prestigious showpieces must be disheartening for big sponsors as they continually fail to attract the top golfers to their events despite the exorbitant rewards on offer for not only the winners - the first-round losers are handsomely rewarded for their efforts too. There is no way to ensure the success of your event without guaranteed up-front money in today's packed world schedule of golf tournaments.
The pro-am at the HSBC is very much a scene of Bentleys, Blackberries and bad swings. It is, of course, one of the biggest days for the bank to influence their prized customers and what better way to do it than being bemused and charmed by the world's finest golfers? Retief was paired with three 24-handicap players and on paper a nine-marker, on grass, closer to a 19.
Charming men all of them and I have found with experience the only way to make these days enjoyable is to try to delve into the world of the amateur partners. There is usually one with an interesting tale to tell.
The one banker who played off 24 was obviously of the instant information school of banking. After he hit his tee shot his caddie was informed to hand him his Blackberry so that he could see how the other teams in the pro-am were scoring. The format was a modified scramble where everyone hits their tee shots and they take the best one (Retief's) then they all hit their second shots from there. It is the perfect way for them to view the stark difference between them and the guy with his name on the bag. I quoted the distance to them, "147 metres to the pin" , eight-iron for Retief, five wood for the bankers. It is the standard reaction of amateurs to be in awe of the distance professionals hit the ball.
Naturally we have witnessed a lot of idiosyncrasies on Wednesdays throughout the years. I have even seen one nervous amateur hit himself with the club as he tried to move his ball off the first tee in the pro-am.
It is a nerve-racking experience and I do not envy those infrequent golfers having to make contact with the first shot of the day. You can tell the real novices as they usually have the added complication of trying to swing with their VIP guest badge flapping around their neck as they shuffle to the first tee.
The amateur who kept my attention was a treasurer originally from South Africa who was a sage man of finance and was modestly informative when I asked about his job. He relayed a story of a retiree in America who had entrusted his life savings of $25 million to an investor who had managed to deplete his fortune to $5 million within a couple of years. When he confronted the trader about his dwindling fortune the trader shrugged his shoulders as if to say hard luck. The irate retiree returned with a gun and shot the irresponsible trader. The judge apparently was lenient in his sentencing of the aggrieved.
We get to meet a lot of financial experts throughout our pro-am travels and the answers to the same questions depend on their position. The treasurer was adamant that the recent banking crisis was due to irresponsible banking.
I had asked a trader for Deutsche Bank a few weeks previously in Boston what he thought. He figured it was a risk business and that's the risk you take when you invest. I think I would side with the wise old treasurer rather than the rampant young trader.
The caddies in our group were young members of Wentworth who had gained membership as part of the progressive youth development programme that the club operate. This year's winner of the Dutch Open, Ross Fisher, was one of the first young players on this scheme.
The show got underway on Thursday and Retief was drawn against the US Open Champion, Angel Cabrera. Cabrera has got an impressive record around the Burma Road. His form continued against us last Thursday. I reckon he shot 10 under par over the two rounds. It wasn't that Retief played badly, it was more the quality of the Argentine's golf that defeated him.
The World Matchplay is potentially the shortest week you can have as a golfer. It is the week you want to last forever with a huge prize fund and all the trimmings of an elitist event with no form of hospitality left unturned by HSBC. Unfortunately I was home by Thursday night.
