An acquaintance of mine, a retired senior civil servant, informed me recently that his current pension is actually larger than his last salary. Wondrous things do, indeed, happen in retirement - as Hale Irwin and Tommy Horton would testify.
Mind you, the growth of seniors' tournament golf on both sides of the Atlantic has been such that the old notion of it providing a useful pension for ageing professionals is now somewhat dated. Only last weekend, for instance, Irwin brought his season's earnings to a stunning $2,131,364.
He reached that figure by winning the Maui Kaanapali Classic, which was his ninth tournament victory of the season, equalling the record set by Peter Thomson in 1985. Not even Lee Trevino, at the height of his venerable powers, could achieve such consistency. Yet 12 years ago, the Australian had to be content with season's earnings of $386,724.
After Thomson and now Irwin, three players - Bruce Crampton (1986), Chi Chi Rodriguez (1987) and Trevino (1990) - each recorded seven victories in a season while Don January (1983) and Trevino (1994) had six. Meanwhile, three of Irwin's wins were done with record aggregates.
On this side of the Atlantic, Horton achieved comparable dominance. The Channel Islander captured the Senior Tournament of Champions at Buckinghamshire GC last weekend for his sixth win of the season and earnings to £158,427 sterling from 15 events.
Against the background of Irwin's success, it is interesting to note that things are far from rosy on the US Seniors' Tour. For instance, there's the $9 million lawsuit filed by journeyman Harry Toscano against the authorities, claiming that their exempt qualifications are too restrictive.
Far more worrying, however, is that the Seniors' TV ratings are dramatically down - by 21 per cent on last year. In fact the US Senior Open, won by Graham Marsh, drew its worst viewing figures this decade. As one American observer put it: "Irwin may be making himself a bundle of money but he's not what you would call exciting to watch." Which is why the authorities have been so disappointed about Johnny Miller's infrequent senior appearances since he turned 50 last April.
Television is not yet a factor in European seniors' golf, so officials needn't concern themselves about Horton's appeal, just yet. As for the player: in seven seasons on the Seniors' Tour, Horton has won 17 tournaments and earned £487,236 - more than double his return from 31 seasons on the regular tour.
As the Ryder Cup proved, there are great players in every part of the world." Jack Nicklaus, who will captain the US in next year's President's Cup matches.
It's probably a bit cruel to drag up Ben Crenshaw's last Ryder Cup appearance, given his appointment this week as skipper of the US team for the 1999 matches. But reflections on Oak Hill, 1995, call into question the thinking of officials who clearly believe that "Gentle Ben" can restore former US dominance in the series.
On the Monday after the Oak Hill defeat, the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle reported: "Ben Crenshaw is one of golf's most respected players. A student of the game and arguably the greatest putter ever, he has won two Masters among his 19 tournament titles.
"But when it comes to matchplay, Crenshaw is about as successful as a Sunday duffer. He is 3-8-1 in the Ryder Cup and 0-8 in PGA Tour playoffs, which amount to matchplay." Over the three days, Crenshaw lost a fourball with Davis Love, a foursomes with Curtis Strange and a singles by 3 and 1 to Colin Montgomerie.
Brookline and the 1999 Ryder Cup are some way off and a strong matchplay pedigree doesn't necessarily guarantee a successful captaincy. However, one can't help thinking that those sentiments from Oak Hill will receive a much wider airing if the US team should fail once more.
A charming little book entitled George Brown's Rules for Vintage Golfers, has come into my possession. Its general tone can be gathered from the observation: "Then we got older and then we grew weaker and the ladies seemed to get younger and fitter and keener and they played off forward tees which seemed unfair, since all men and women are equal."
The author, David Atkins, makes it clear from the outset that the eponymous Mr Brown is not to be confused with the former British Labour politician. Rather is he a golfer of long standing and still active in his nineties.
In the interest of speeding up play, George and his friends use their own, amended version of the Rules of Golf. For instance, Rule three states: "The usual Winter Rules concession of allowing the improvement of the lie of a ball on the fairway will apply throughout the year. A player may move the ball by hand, foot or club, but it may not be carried, kicked or thrown."
Then there is Rule 7 (a): "At most clubs, there are separate tees for ladies (sometimes marked red) and perhaps for those over 80 years old (sometimes marked blue). Where the ladies' tees lie in front of the veterans', play off the ladies' tee. Have no shame. It is to the ladies' advantage to speed up the play of vintage players.
"The use of the ladies' tee may need the approval of the Lady Captain who will, no doubt, bear in mind the equal opportunities and sex discrimination legislation. (Why are most golfers more nervous of the Lady Captain than of the Club Captain?)."
And Rule 13: "There is no such thing as an `airshot.' If a player fails to connect with the ball at the first attempt, it will be deemed a practice swing, as well as such further swings as may be necessary to achieve contact with the ball. This saves players exchanging places and also a great deal of frustration . . . a player shall be the sole judge of what is a foozle. (Yes, `foozle' is in the Oxford English Dictionary.)"
Published by the Toat Press (0044 1798 872664), it costs £5.50 (sterling).
According to the Guinness Book of Golf, the highest course in the world is the nine-hole layout at Tuctu GC in Morococha, Peru, 14,335 feet (4,369 metres) above sea-level at its lowest point. The highest 18-hole course is at La Pas GC, Bolivia, at an altitude of 13,500 feet (4,115 metres) above sea level.
All of which would be news to officials of the Trishul GC in the sparsely populated region of Ladakh in northern India. A sort of golfing "lost horizon", it is sandwiched between the Himalayan and Karakoram mountains, close to the Tibetan border.
Though golf has been played in Tibet at an altitude of 16,000 feet, Trishul GC is a mere 11,331 feet. Yet its signpost proudly proclaims it to be the "Highest Golf Course in the World." The sign also states that it is "open to civilians and tourists" who may contact the "captain of the course."
The green-fee is 60 rupees (about £1.30), but there's a minor catch. The putting surfaces are slow-but-true oil-soaked sand and visitors must rent a coir mat for five rupees to hit shots from the "fairway." And yes, Tictul GC is affiliated to the Indian Golf Union.
This day in golf history . . . On October 25th, 1904, Herman Densmore Shute was born in Cleveland, Ohio. He beat Craig Wood in a playoff to capture the 1933 British Open at St Andrews and then gained the distinction of becoming the last player to win successive USPGA Championships - in 1936 and 1937.
Arising from the latter success and the fact that Henry Cotton captured the 1937 British Open at Carnoustie, an unofficial "world title" challenge was arranged between the pair. Over 72 holes of matchplay at Walton Heath, Cotton won by 6 and 5.
For Denny Shute, who died in 1974, his British Open triumph followed closely on a shattering experience. That was when he three-putted the last green at Southport and Ainsdale to lose to Syd Easterwood, so costing the Americans the 1933 Ryder Cup matches by 6 1/2 to 5 1/2.
Teaser: Rule 30-3a states in part: "An absent partner may join a match between holes, but not during play of a hole." If A and B are to play C and D in a fourball match and A is absent when the match begins, what is the ruling if A joins the match during play of a hole?
Answer: A incurs the general penalty prescribed in Rule 2-6 and thus is disqualified from the hole. If any of A's strokes assisted B's play, B also is disqualified for the hole (Rule 30-3f).
