TV VIEW:DID YOU see that Ronnie O'Sullivan 140 break on Saturday, in the second frame of his first-round World Championship match? It took him seven minutes, but sure, age comes to us all.

Still, it was Speedy Gonzales stuff compared to some of his rivals – Ronnie’s breaks should be accompanied by the theme music from Benny Hill; Peter Ebdon, for example, should have Chariots of Fire played over him, always the perfect soundtrack for snooze-inducing slow-motion action.

What would Ronnie award himself in marks out of 10 for his performance?

“Five. Somefink like that,” he said after the match, which he won 10-5. He was, of course, being hard on himself, although spare a thought for the man he beat, his practice partner Stuart Bingham. Imagine if Ronnie was worth, say, an eight?

Back in the BBC studio Steve Davis, who, we were told, made his Crucible debut 30 years ago (we share your pain) and whose hair has gone the way of Manchester United’s quadruple hopes – whoosh, vanished – was swooning over Rocket Ronnie’s form.

Steve, though, fretted over Ronnie’s ability to get bored senseless during a tournament, those days off when he might stumble upon a self-destruct button and wonder what might happen if he pressed it.

But Ronnie reassured the BBC that his sojourn in the city would be a restful one. “I treat Sheffield like a holiday, really,” he said. “I’m staying in a nice environment and I treat it like two weeks at a health farm, with the snooker just being somefink to do while I’m there.”

Steve was a bit puzzled by that, the Romford boy evidently wondering what else there was to do in Sheffield apart from sinking reds, yellows, greens, browns, blues, pinks and blacks, but John Parrott admired Ronnie’s chilled-outness, stressing that it was important for the sport, that Ronnie proclaimed was dying on its feet, for the Rocket to be in a tippy-toe – snooker-loopy pun alert – frame of mind.

Steve disputed that the sport was on its last legs, pointing out that 200 million Chinese people would be watching the first round clash of Ding Junhui and Liang Wenbo. “Amazing,” he said, which it is, although the awful truth is that once Ding and Liang exit the tournament it’ll only be us, Steve and a few stragglers tuning in.

Eighteen million watched Steve miss that black against Dennis Taylor, deep into the last century; these days you can knock at least 10 million off that figure. Where have they all gone? Probably off watching Susan Boyle on YouTube.

O’Sullivan, of course, was only one of two Rocket Ronnies to make his sporting mark last week, the other – the Ronaldo fella – so dubbed when he, well, rocketed that shot into the back of Porto’s net.

He was, alas, nowhere to be seen at Wembley yesterday, back home pruning his petunias with Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs and Michael Carrick and Edwin Van der Sar, among others, while Alex Ferguson fielded a quadruple-busting team in the FA Cup semi-final.

“Danny Welbeck, a right footed-striker playing on the left of midfield,” said Clive Tyldesley, who left it at that, apart from the “hmmm” he added. Everton, clearly, were moved by the level of respect shown to them by Ferguson, and thanked him by removing United from the competition.

“You can’t deny that they don’t deserve this,” said Andy Townsend of Everton back in the ITV studio, attempting – but kind of failing – to doff his cap to Moysie’s men.

FA Cup final day will, then, be the Story of the Blues, Chelsea beating Arsenal in Saturday’s semi-final. Arsene Wenger didn’t look for any excuses at full-time, describing the pitch as “laughable” and “a disaster”, a verdict echoed by the man, whose name we didn’t catch, on Sky’s Sunday Supplement. “It was like the horse of the year show at the end, they need to bring in Alan Titchmarsh,” said he.

Chelsea’s temporary supremo, Guus Hiddink, begged to differ, telling Setanta that “the pitch was good”.

Doctors differ, FA Cup dreams die. Mind you, we could barely focus on the game, so entranced were we by Tel Venables’ goatee. Extraordinary.

The game of the week, though, was that Chelsea v Liverpool Champions League joust. Bill O’Herlihy was dizzy from the lovely madness of it all.

“Error-strewn rather than great,” said Eamon Dunphy, bursting Bill’s bubble of bliss. “It was like two drunks down a back alley swinging punches at each other.”

“But some of them punch-ups are quite good, Bill,” said Ray Houghton, sensing the host’s hurt.

Too true.

“Steve disputed that the sport was on its last legs, pointing out that 200 million Chinese people would be watching the first round clash of Ding Junhui and Liang Wenbo. “Amazing,” he said, which it is, although the awful truth is that once Ding and Liang exit the tournament it’ll only be us, Steve and a few stragglers tuning in