TV View: Ted Walsh getting intimate with an aging rocker? A false-teethless George Hook in his pyjamas? Pat Spillane's rear-end wrapped in lycra hot pants? It was, as you'll have gathered, a week when we were presented with several uncomfortably disturbing images of RTÉ sporting pundits.

The most distressing?

It was a toss-up, but in the end Rod and Ted's excellent adventure in Seville on Wednesday night won by a nose.

"You were in Seville for the UEFA Cup final," said Robert Hall at the Curragh on Saturday.

"I was," said Ted.

"And I heard Rod Stewart was sitting a little bit down from you and you were all over him like a rash," said Robert.

"Ah yeah, I was all over him like a rash, alright," said Ted. "Me and Rod. Gave him a little peck, and the whole lot. Very much my type of man, Rod."

At this point, Robert wiggled his right eyebrow in a manner that suggested, like ourselves, he was left wondering. And, like Robert, the thought crossed our minds that when Rod croaks the words "my love for you is immeasurable, my respect for you immense, you're ageless, timeless, lace and fineness, you're beauty and elegance (ooh ooh ooh)" he might have our Ted in his thoughts, and not a retired page-three buxomly blonde bunny beauty.

Ted, though, put us to right when he clarified the nature of his relationship with Rod. And, let's be candid, clarification was required.

"I'd be a Rod Stewart fan as a singer, but he wouldn't be my cup of tea to get stuck in a trench with him or anything, but I enjoy his singing".

Clarification, reluctantly, accepted (but it'd have made a helluva story).

Funnily enough, Ted's friend Rod also has a tune by the name of The Killing Of Georgie. Doctors tell us that fatty foods will shorten our lives, even if we'll die happy having lived on them, and live miserably having feasted on lettuce leaves and lentils.

On Saturday Tom McGurk asked one of his panellists, after the European Cup final, how he would present himself on RTÉ for the "crack of dawn" games during the World Cup.

"I'll be on two eggs, two sausages, three bacon and bugger the cholesterol," he said, which could result in the medical profession releasing a charity record by the name of The Killing Of Georgie Hook. For t'was he.

"Will you be in your pyjamas and nightcap?" Tom asked Georgie.

"That's a lovely image," said Brent Pope, wincing.

"Just don't leave the teeth in the glass of water, okay," Tom advised Georgie to vow.

Georgie promised nothing. It was, then, an image we just couldn't get out of our heads for the rest of the afternoon.

Speaking of Kylie.

Longford versus Kildare, Laois versus Offaly.

"Looking at the four teams today," said Pat Spillane, "to be perfectly honest, I'd have a better chance of winning Backside of the Year ahead of Kylie Minogue because these teams will not be winning national honours."

If Longford, Kildare, Laois or Offaly prevail in Croke Park in September their supporters should demand that Pat Do-Ya-Think-I'm-Sexy Spillane go head to head with Kylie and unveil his buttocks on a catwalk in Templenoe, Co Kerry, with all proceeds going to a charity of their choice - e.g. RTÉ - after meeting their GAA pundits' wage demands.

In fairness, Pat promised a fine afternoon's football, two games that would be "better fare than we'll see in the one-sided matches involving Celtic and Rangers on the other channel".

"A lot of neutrals would say these games are a turn-off," he said of the Longford versus Kildare, Laois versus Offaly clashes. "But it's a bit like going to a chic restaurant nowadays and seeing sort of fried goat's intestines on the menu and saying 'yuck', and it turns out that it's the best dish they have in the restaurant."

Michael Lyster turned hooped green, or maybe it was just the day that was in it. Later, while RTÉ tried to sort out its link to Kilmarnock's Rugby Park, where Celtic would attempt but fail to win the Scottish title, Ted Walsh and Robert Hall chatted idly.

"You've got a green and white striped vest on, is this true?" asked Robert.

"I have," said Ted, "green and white-striped knickers too, top to bottom, I'm dolled out for Celtic."

(At which point Rod interjected: "You're Celtic, United, but baby I've decided, Ted Walsh is the best I've ever seen.")

Finally, back to Kilmarnock's Rugby Park. where Celtic lost the league - and Rangers won it doon the road.

But, as Ted's friend Rod would put it, I don't want to, talk about it, if I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the colour of my heart?

Or, indeed, the colour of Ted's knickers.