Five rings should encircle GAA: In the rush to find excuses for Ireland's dismal performance at the Olympic Games in Athens, the GAA has been singled out by quite a few media outlets (though Ireland failed to bring home a medal at nine Olympic Games, so we're not sure how one gold medal can be described as dismal). The GAA is just too damn successful, seemingly.

But, wait, we've a solution. In order to guarantee Olympic medals are brought home in the future, we reckon the GAA should make a bid for hurling and Gaelic football to be included in the Olympic list.

No. Of course we're not joking.

According to the Olympic Charter: 1.1 - To be included in the programme of the Olympic Games, an Olympic sport must conform to the following criteria:

1.1.1 - Only sports widely practised by men in at least 75 countries and on four continents, and by women in at least 40 countries and on three continents, may be included in the programme of the Games of the Olympiad (Summer Games);

So Olympic sports such as baseball are played in 75 countries? Ya, right.

Anyway, the number of countries is not the problem. Gaelic football and hurling is played in almost every European country, as well as Canada, USA, Australia and New Zealand. We've even written here before about GAA teams in far off places such as Korea, Japan, Argentina and various parts of the Middle East. Countries and continents covered, but "widely"?

We're not sure what widely means, but we're pretty sure there are as many hurlers in eastern Europe as there are beach volleyball players.

And while we're at it, why not make handball an Olympic sport. Real handball, not that excuse that called itself handball in Athens where the players just walk up and down a pitch with the ball, jump and throw it at the goal. And while we're talking down other sports, when's the last time a table tennis game attracted 80,000 spectators?

And an Olympic sport doesn't have to be played at any serious level in all the required countries - no one is going to convince September Road that sports such as baseball are played at a serious level in at least 75 countries.

Also, there doesn't seem to be any requirement about competition - or lack of it. America has a 100 per cent record when it comes to softball at the Olympic Games, so which shouldn't Ireland have a 100 per cent record at hurling and football?

Though if they do insist on some competition we could always ask players from north of the Border to play on the British team. They wouldn't mind, right? In the interests of competition of course.

Relax. We really are joking now. Because, on the football side, that would mean it would be best players from Antrim, Armagh, Cavan, Derry, Fermanagh, and Tyrone against the rest of the island. It'd be an interesting Olympic final.

Maybe we need to have another think about this.

Web Watch - www.thegaastore.com

The GAA Store, which is based in Portadown, Co Armagh, offers an impressive range of products related to Gaelic games - including a few we weren't even aware of. You can buy county, provincial and international shirts, with the site even selling TG4's Underdogs shirt. And, apart from the usual stuff, even items such as GAA goalposts for your backgarden can be purchased online. There's also books and videos on sale, including one titled Mayo 1959-1989 - which might soon need a new chapter.

Quantum Leaps

In a rather imaginative and timely ceremony in Croke Park today, awards will be handed out to celebrate the "breakthrough" counties of the past decade. The ceremony will acknowledge Clare's All-Ireland senior hurling victory in 1995, as well as more recent success stories, such as the senior football championship runs of both Fermanagh and Westmeath this summer. The Lucozade Sport Breakthrough Awards include 10 counties in all - Armagh, Clare, Down, Fermanagh, Laois, Leitrim, Tyrone, Waterford, Westmeath and Wexford.

Quote of the Weekend - "Fermanagh people threw out comments saying we had no bottle and no heart. I think today proves that this team is different to other Mayo teams. It has got the bottle and will finish the tight games." - Trevor Mortimer, speaking Saturday evening.

Hurling odds

All-Ireland SH final

Kilkenny 4/6

Cork 6/4

Draw 15/2

All-Ireland MH final

Kilkenny 8/15

Galway 11/8