It is two weeks now since the seven-year-old, during dinner of a workaday evening, nonchalantly declared he was now a “City man”. Initially, we weren’t quite sure what that entailed. But we were pretty sure, whatever nonsense it was, it too would pass.
But then he started talking about Erling Haaland being the Incredible Hulk of goal-scoring, and how Kevin De Bruyne’s Power Play is an unbeatable 92 on his Match Attax card.
The return to education last week escalated the situation, as the great collaborative minds of the schoolyard have seemingly decreed Pep knows the answer to every problem.
So there were, admittedly, a barrage of questions when we sat down to watch Brighton & Hove Albion against Newcastle United on Saturday evening.
[ Evan Ferguson scores stunning hat-trick as Brighton beat NewcastleOpens in new window ]
Brighton and Newcastle? It’s not exactly a celebrated fixture that drips of history or memorable moments. Until it does. Until something happens that makes it a match you’ll be referencing many years from now.
The seven-year-old was a six-year-old until recently. Evan Ferguson appears to be eternally 18. That is the impact he has made on the game during the past 12 months, he has stuffed so much in since blowing out the candles on his last birthday cake.
The story of his career has been knitted around his age, he was only 14 when he made his Bohs debut and just 18 when he picked up his first Ireland senior cap. If 2023 is to eventually be remembered as the year Ferguson came of age, last Saturday will be recounted as the day the world really took notice.
“There is much more to him than just goals,” beamed Jamie Redknapp in his post-match analysis on Sky Sports.
“There is no self-indulgence with the way he plays. There are elements of all the great strikers we see in the Premier League in this man, there really is. I just love the way he plays.
“At 18 years of age he is at exactly the right club because there is going to be all the talk now that he is going to be the next £100 million player. And by the way, if he carries on, I’ve no doubt he will be because he’s that good. Because there are not many centre forwards like him.”
As he wheeled away in celebration following his second goal at the Amex on Saturday, it felt in the moment that Ferguson’s status in the game had changed. Things would never be the same again. The 6ft 1in genie was fully out of the bottle.
“No wonder he’s expected to be the next prized asset the vultures will be circling for,” said commentator Ron Hawthorne on Sky Sports.
A few moments later, the Seagulls had put the game beyond doubt, Ferguson netting his hat-trick as a deflection helped his effort beyond Nick Pope.
“The stuff of teenage dreams,” added Hawthorne. “This is a day Evan Ferguson will remember for the rest of his life.”
As Pope picked the ball from the net, Irish football was already worshipping its new patron saint.
Ferguson received a standing ovation when he was replaced by James Milner late on. Milner made his Premier League debut in 2002, two years before Ferguson was even born.
“He’s going to be a superstar, this young man,” continued a giddy Redknapp.
As the former Liverpool player and fellow pundit Karen Carney were doing their post-match analysis, Ferguson joined the Sky Sports panel for a live pitch-side interview.
When asked to name the other three 18-year-old Premier League hat-trick scorers, the striker came up short for the first time all day. He was now in the company of Michael Owen, Robbie Fowler and Chris Bart-Williams.
“It’s hard to take in, but it’s obviously an unbelievable feeling,” said Ferguson, with the calmness of a man on a yoga retreat. “As a kid, as a striker, you want to grow up and score as many goals as you can in the Premier League, when you get a hat-trick it’s a good day.”
It certainly is.
Redknapp asked if his Dad (Barry Ferguson played for, among others, Longford Town, Bohemians and Shamrock Rovers) was a demanding parent.
“He was one of them who would be standing in the corner on the sideline with his jacket and his hood up saying nothing,” replied Ferguson. “But I think that helped me because if I did need anything I could go over and talk to him and he would know what he was talking about, but he would never put any pressure on me.”
Later that night on BBC’s Match of the Day, Gary Lineker was also signing up to the Evan Ferguson fan-club.
“I smell a goalscorer when I see one,” he said. “Eighteen-years-old, I think he could be a little bit special.”
Ian Wright agreed. And those two boys know their onions.
“I don’t want to get carried away,” added Gary, letting us know he was about to get carried away. “But I do see a hint of Haaland about him.”
On Sunday morning the seven-year-old wanted a kickabout in the garden. Haaland v Ferguson. This, I guess, is how it starts. He doesn’t realise it, but at the weekend he watched a player who could be about to storyboard his life in the same way Ray Houghton and Robbie Keane did for previous generations of Ireland soccer fans.
“The day he scored his first hat-trick in the Premier League? Yep, I was on the couch watching it with my Dad, clutching my Kevin De Bruyne Match Attax card. I was a City man, then.”
Next stop for Evan Ferguson is Paris. Where it all ends is anybody’s guess. When the seven-year-old eventually turns 18, to what great places will Ferguson’s journey have taken him? And he’ll still only be 29 then. Go well, Evan. And go far.
