Seeing red over Klopp’s new job
How did Jürgen Klopp’s appointment last week as global head of football at Red Bull go down in Germany?
Der Spiegel: “Klopp presented himself at Liverpool as ‘The Normal One’ ... now he has adopted what is common in this industry: following the money.”
T-Online: “His deal with Red Bull destroys his image as an impeccable man ... Klopp has made a pact with the devil. He has torn down his own monument in an instant. Perhaps this man does not love football as much as he always claimed.”
Kevin Grosskreutz, who played for Klopp at Borussia Dortmund: “I hoped it was fake news. It was pretty shocking and sad. I think it sucks, to put it bluntly. When we meet, I’ll tell him personally that I think it’s sh*t that he does something like that.”
And Günter Klein, the chief sports reporter at Bavarian newspaper Münchner Merkur: “[This is] the day Jürgen Klopp died. He is simply Red Bull’s advertising clown. Klopp is as fake as his teeth.”
Not great, then.
Smells like team spirit
The Cristiano Ronaldo v Lionel Messi rivalry has just hotted up. It’s a whole eight years since Ronaldo launched his own brand of fragrances, ones that enabled his fans “to wear the sensorial essence of their idol”. Now Messi has entered the very same market, launching his own range of nice-smelling things last week.
His eau de parfum “captures the essence of Messi’s humble yet powerful persona” and is “an olfactory journey that reflects the multifaceted dimensions of a legend”. Not only that, it will “provoke a profound emotional connection” and strike “a harmonious balance between invigorating freshness and enveloping warmth”. And you thought perfume was just something with a nice whiff off it?
Ronaldo’s 100ml bottle of perfume costs €55.95; Messi’s will set you back €69.95, which means Ronaldo’s will probably now go up to €69.96. Form an orderly queue.
Word of mouth
“If I had a hundred quid for every chorus of ‘you fat b******’ then I wouldn’t be playing football any more. It’s part of football. I dish it out so you need to take it on the chin – or, in this case, chins.” – Hearts’ Lawrence Shankland with a response for the ages to rude terrace chants about his physical condition.
“McTominay scored goals, he had determination and yet they kicked him out. I would go to Manchester United and arrest all the directors. How can you give McTominay away? Nothing works at Manchester United, it’s a club that only does stupid things.” – Selling Scott to Napoli was, in Paulo Di Canio’s view, a criminal offence.
“It fills you with excitement, doesn’t it? If tomorrow I have the chance to make the leap in quality, I’ll be ready. Let’s see what happens.” – Pedro Porro showing his, eh, commitment to Spurs by getting all excited about rumours that Real Madrid want him.
In numbers
4 – For the first time in history, there were four Zs in an Irish starting line-up last Friday: Sammie Szmodics, Finn Azaz and Chiedozie Ogbene. Thanks to @irish_abroad for the greatest stat ever.
In words
“You still have to do the basics of football. But the word over the last month or so with England has been ‘freedom’. It’s the new buzzword. It’s the new garlic bread.” – Roy Keane finding his inner Peter Kay while questioning Lee Carsley’s England team.
Right back atcha
More Cristiano Ronaldo-related news. How did he take to former Italian international Antonio Cassano suggesting that “he doesn’t know how to play football”? He texted Cassano “a list of all the trophies, goals and statistics. Then he sends me a voice note: ‘You disrespected me, don’t do anything like that again. You only scored 150 goals, you only won four trophies.’ He went to the trouble of messaging me, imagine!” The reaction of Ronaldo’s sister, Elma Aveiro? “I don’t know this poor guy. They say he was a footballer. I think they’re wrong, he was probably a ball boy.”
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