Conference League: Chelsea 5 (Guiu, 22, 34, 45+3, Dewsbury-Hall 40, Cucurella 58) Shamrock Rovers 1 (Poom 26)
The dream is dead. Long live the dream.
The sheer magnitude of Chelsea’s superiority put an end to any hopes of a famous draw for Shamrock Rovers at Stamford Bridge, let alone a win. The only saving grace, given the brutality of this west London shakedown, is that Rovers’ prior European form ensured the result had no bearing on their progression to the knockout stages.
Even with Chelsea boss Enzo Maresca rotating his squad, this was men against boys. A Premier League-quality press forced the Tallaght outfit into a pair of disastrous first half errors. When on the ball, Chelsea cut through their prey at will through the middle. They even added a goal via a cross from out wide.
A 4-1 scoreline at half-time was worse than any cynic predicted. Though Rovers flagged after the break, mercifully, Chelsea weren’t too interested in pressing home their advantage, adding just one further goal.
Any delusional wish for something of a contest was somewhat satiated during the opening half-an-hour. For all of Chelsea’s threat, created predominantly by Marc Cucurella inverting from full-back, Pico Lopes patrolled the Rovers box, ensuring that no blue shirt would pass.
Three times in the opening 15 minutes his interventions prevented Chelsea from creating a clearcut chance. Such was the strength of Rovers’ early rearguard, the only action of note was Christopher Nkunku dealing with a series of toilet rolls thrown his way by the away fans when he dared take a corner in their vicinity. The Stamford Bridge stewards, clearly, have not attended enough League of Ireland games to think of screening punters for toilet humour.
All of which added to the frustration of the first Chelsea goal. Chelsea’s Renato Veiga sent a harmless long ball forward from full-back. Darragh Burns had it covered easily, only he didn’t hear the shout from Leon Pohls. Burns’ header duly went past his own ‘keeper and into the grateful path of Marc Guiu who headed into a wide open net.
Soft would be an understatement. Especially seeing as Rovers themselves missed a golden opportunity moments earlier. Dylan Watts went down under a heavy challenge but, upon realising play had continued, his decision to lie on the floor looking for a foul turned into an act of subterfuge.
Returning to his feet, no Chelsea marker thought to track the previously crestfallen runner. He ghosted into the box, taking the pass from Burns before whipping a dangerous ball across the area. Johnny Kenny, in his final game before returning to parent club Celtic, missed a sitter. The flag belatedly went up for offside, but replays suggested he was on.
It did, though, take Rovers only four minutes to equalise after the poor opener. Kenny missed another chance, albeit this time Filip Jorgensen was tested in the Chelsea goal, turning behind a half-volley at his near post.
From the resulting corner, Chelsea failed to clear at their near post. Markus Poom took aim from just inside the box, his volley deflecting off an unfortunate Cesare Casadei and past a helpless Jorgensen. Cue another toilet roll shower from the Rovers end.
A contest? Surely not.
Another Rovers disaster at the back put an end to such notions. Ten minutes after the equaliser, Daniel Cleary’s attempted back-pass went straight to Guiu. Once again, he couldn’t believe his luck. After rounding a helpless Pohls, he rolled the ball into the empty net.
This time, there was no Rovers response. Cucurella, quiet after his strong opening, reacted first to a loose ball close to the Rovers box. The ease with which he played Christopher Nkunku into space in behind was majestic. Lopes did enough to disrupt, but the ball only fell to Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall inside the box. It was a simple finish.
In first half stoppage time, Guiu completed his hat-trick. Madueke’s cross from the right was a beauty, Chelsea’s striker rising above Cleary to complete a devastating first half trifecta. Down 4-1 at half-time, this was already a damage limitation exercise for Stephen Bradley’s men.
Worse was to come just shy of the hour mark. This time Nkunku was the provider on the edge of the box. Cucurella took up the advanced position. The Spaniard gratefully received the through ball, dancing inside the cover and ruthlessly beat Pohls at his near post.
In truth, Rovers were fortunate it was only five. Pohls denied both Nkunku and Joao Felix, brought on as a sub to feast on a flagging visiting defence. The Portuguese striker also flashed wide twice from narrow angles.
Rovers should have added a second. Jack Byrne’s pullback in the dying minutes was steered goalwards by Cleary, only for Aaron Greene to get in the way of his teammate’s effort on the line.
Despite the loss of face, this was a free hit for Rovers. They still found it within themselves to celebrate a stellar group campaign in front of the 3,000 away fans.
Uncertainty will now follow given recent rumours linking Bradley to Championship outfit Milwall. Rovers will at least have some certainty when they find out their opponents for the next round during Friday afternoon’s draw.
Chelsea: Jorgensen; Disasi (capt) (Murray-Campbell, 59), Acheampong, Veiga, Cucurella; Casadei, Dewsbury-Hall (Rak-Sakyi, 82); Madueke (Vale, HT), Nkunku, George; Guiu (Felix, 59).
Shamrock Rovers: Pohls; Cleary, Lopes, Grace; Burns, O’Neill (Nugent, 78), Poom (Byrne, 67), Honohan; Watts, (Mandroiu, 67) Farrugia (Burke, 72); Kenny (Greene, 72).
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