Last Monday Donald Trump sat in the Oval Office speaking to the press in the loose informal style to which we have become accustomed. Praising the role of his efficiency guru Elon Musk, he gave an example of the government waste Musk’s team had already discovered: “Some of the numbers are horrible, what he’s found. A hundred – think of it – a hundred million dollars on condoms to Hamas. Condoms to Hamas, and many other things that are frankly even more ridiculous…”
Even more ridiculous than $100 million on condoms to Hamas? One is reminded of the story of Artie Bucco’s cruise tickets from the first episode of the Sopranos. Tony Soprano has offered Artie first-class tickets for a cruise. Artie asks where the tickets have come from. Tony explains: “In my capacity as business manager for the Kitchen and Restaurant Workers’ Union, I administer the dental plan. A couple of dentists got together, and in appreciation they awarded me these tickets. Problem is, I can’t get away those days…”
In the next scene Artie is arguing with his wife Charmaine, who has refused to accept the tickets. “Tony is a labour leader!” he pleads. Charmaine: “Arthur please, grow up! Does the mind not rebel at any possible scenario under which dentists are sending the Don of New Jersey first class on a Norwegian steamship? Come on, Arthur. Somebody donated their knee caps for those tickets!”
“Does the mind not rebel…” yes, at the image of a $100 million shipment of condoms destined for Hamas the mind does still rebel, but then along comes the next thing, and the next, and before too long the exhausted mind is slumped in passive quiescence. These days the mind has to choose its battles.
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It’s left to the eye to wander around the frame, taking in the contents of Trump’s office. Behind him stands a table upon which you can see framed photographs of his family, a little equestrian statue of his presidential hero Andrew Jackson, an image of Abraham Lincoln in bronze and… and the Fifa World Cup trophy?
Fifa confirmed last week the trophy in Trump’s office was a replica – the real one is still in the care of current champions Argentina – but here, nevertheless, was visual evidence of the new president’s relationship with the man he calls “Johnny”.
Fifa president Gianni Infantino has relentlessly sucked up to Trump since he first came to office in 2017. Eight years of diligent grovelling were rewarded last month with not only an invitation to the president’s second inauguration but also a prominent seat at the ceremony next to such key Trump allies as UFC CEO Dana White and billionaire donor Miriam Adelson.
Infantino was still buzzing from the night before when Trump had used his name in his victory rally speech to supporters. Although he initially referred to Infantino as “the head of the Olympics,” the president went on to rescue the situation by remembering “the World Cup, Johnny is the head of it...”
Infantino, who had attended the rally wearing a Trump-like outfit of dark suit with oversized red tie, responded with gushing thanks on Instagram where he expressed his delight that Trump would think of Fifa and its humble president at such a moment of triumph.
“What an incredible honour, what an incredible privilege, President Donald J Trump, in his speech, mentioned Fifa, mentioned myself…this is Fifa at the maximum of its respect, being mentioned by the new president of the United States of America in his victory rally, in his victory speech, it’s unique, it’s beautiful.”
Fifa had not actually been mentioned, only “Johnny”, but in Infantino’s head there is no difference.
“I would like to thank President Trump, with whom I have a great friendship, and to assure him that together we will make not only America great again, but also the entire world, because of course, football, or soccer, unites the world.”
“Football unites the world” is Infantino’s catchphrase, appended as a hashtag to most of his posts. The sentiment is a touch globalist for the Trump administration’s taste but then it seems unlikely Trump is reading to the end of many of Infantino’s posts.
On Sunday night both presidents attended Super Bowl LIX, with Infantino offering his support to both the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles before the game. The Fifa president is eager to learn American know-how. Moving with the times, the NFL decided ahead of the game that the slogan “End Racism”, which has been displayed in their endzones since 2020, would henceforth be replaced with “Choose Love”. One for Infantino, who launched a major Fifa anti-racism initiative last year, to ponder ahead of Fifa’s big American show in 2026.
Infantino and Trump do share at least one common enemy – the thing that used to be called the mainstream media, which Trump has successfully rebranded as the fake news.
Infantino’s famous Doha address on the eve of the Qatar World Cup in November 2022 is remembered for the immortal opening lines: “Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker…”
But the real thrust of that speech was against the western journalists who had criticised Fifa for awarding the World Cup to a country that could only build the required infrastructure by employing slave labour.
“I think for what we Europeans have been doing for the last 3,000 years around the world we should be apologising for the next 3,000 years before starting to give moral lessons to people,” Infantino said.
The rebuke of western arrogance played well out in Qatar, but one imagines Infantino doesn’t talk that way around Trump or other new friends like Italy’s deputy prime minister Matteo Salvini, or Elon Musk’s brother Kimbal, both of whom he presented with Fifa gifts while visiting Rome a couple of weeks ago.
Infantino also met there with Andrea Stroppa, a Musk associate who responded to Musk’s straight-arm salute on inauguration day by posting “The Roman Empire is back, starting from the Roman salute”. Stroppa later deleted that post, saying that he now believed “the gesture, which some mistook for a Nazi salute, is simply Elon, who has autism, expressing his feelings by saying ‘I want to give my heart to you’…”
(Does the mind not rebel? Do you still have the energy?)
For all that he leads a global federation with an internationalist mission, and talks every day about how football is a “magic tool” for uniting the world, Infantino seems more comfortable in the company of the nationalist international.
