Frank Lampard has admitted he was "looking to move" away from Chelsea at one stage last summer following the death of his mother.
The England midfielder was strongly linked with a switch to Inter Milan, now coached by former Blues boss Jose Mourinho, as his contract negotiations went unresolved last summer.
Lampard eventually committed his future to Chelsea but admits he had wanted to leave at one stage.
"Last season, I was in a daze, I couldn't think of anything else and, strangely, that makes it easier to play because you have a one track mind, no highs and lows.
"At one time last summer I was looking to move," he said. "I just couldn't accept the idea of playing at Chelsea without looking up and seeing Mum in the stand. Even now it is a huge gap in my life and very hard to handle.
"There were a lot of things that we used to do together, go to Harrods for tea, go to a certain restaurant, so suddenly there were shops I couldn't walk into, all sorts of things from which I needed to get away. I thought: "I can't live like this; I've got to leave London.
"That wasn't the answer, though.
"No disrespect to Inter Milan, they are a great club and everybody knows what I think of Jose Mourinho, but if I had gone it would have been for the wrong reasons. It would have been because of Mum."
Meanwhile, West Ham midfielder Julien Faubert has completed his loan move to Real Madrid, the Primera Liga club have confirmed.
The 25-year-old joins Madrid on loan until the end of the season, with the Spanish club having an option to buy him on a permanent basis.