TV VIEW"Each team must have had the opportunity to bat for a minimum of 25 overs to constitute a match," states one of the rules of the cricket World Cup.

Must have been tempting, then, for Namibia to call for their "contest" (and we use the word loosely) with Australia on Thursday to be declared null and void. After all, Glenn McGrath only gave them the opportunity to bat for 14 overs, removing seven Namibians for 15 runs.

It was, to be frank, a day when Namibia took the term "limited overs game" a little too literally.

All out for 45 they were, even after a promising start from opening batsmen Jan-Berry Burger and Stephan Swanepoel, who put on a stand of five, lasting two minutes.

"Have Namibia gained anything from this game, would you say?" asked the Sky Sports presenter, with a straight face.

"Oh yes," said Mushtaq Ahmed, "they know that they've got to learn a few things about batting."

The Sky man nodded. Mushtaq didn't smile. So he wasn't having a laugh.

Mushtaq then analysed the day's statistics for us and noted that Namibia's top scorer was Australia's wayward bowling (15 extras), followed by Deon Kotze's 10. A proud Deon beamed when he spoke to the reporter back in Potchefstroom. Glenn looked less content.

"Incredible figures Glenn, you must be happy," he was asked.

"Aw, yeah, very happy, apart from that loose first over."

Glenn didn't smile. So he wasn't having a laugh. Aussies, eh?

In fairness to another Aussie, Richie Benaud, there was some sympathy in the commentary box for Namibia, who'd fielded and bowled smartly enough (apart from that unfortunate final over from rugby outhalf Rudi van Vuuren who conceded 28 runs to Darren Lehmann, with the ball ending up in Stockholm). "Oh dear," said Richie, when they lost their seventh wicket, which was nice.

And while it's nice, too, to see Canada (all out for 36 against Sri Lanka) and Holland in the World Cup, they, along with Namibia, must now be tempted to adopt Homer Simpson's wise words as their motto for the experience: "Trying is the first step to failure".

Not so India and Pakistan. Their match on Saturday was a touch more competitive, leaving viewers wondering was there some history between the teams.

There are, it is true, some folk who query the mental health of those who choose, voluntarily, to give up a few hours of their life to watch cricket. Sometimes it's hard to convince them that these are not hours gone down the tube, but then Sachin Tendulkar comes along and plays an innings like he played for India on Saturday (98 from 74 balls) and all you have to say is: "see?"

This information is being shared with you only to illustrate the genteelly instructive aspects of watching hours and hours of cricket, as opposed to, say, tuning in to something like ITV's Hitting the Bar, a programme about some footballers who drink too much booze which taught us that, well, some footballers drink too much booze. You could have decked us with a feather.

The tone of the programme was: "Isn't it sad what booze can do to footballers (but wey, hey, aren't these boys gas characters?'). Like Paul Gascoigne, who, inevitably, featured heavily.

"He'd get up in the morning," said Paul Merson, "have a s**t, he'd have nothing on and he'd come and sit back down on the settee, how dirty can you get?"

Much, much more information than we needed.

The high spot - and there weren't many - was Stan Bowles' admission that he appeared on the BBC's Superstars in the 1970s while still drunk from the night before. Consequently he nearly drowned when he capsized in the canoe race and blasted the table in front of him during the shooting contest.

"I got the lowest points ever in Superstars," he said, proudly, before lighting up another fag and downing another pint.

The Namibian batsmen know how he felt. They and Stan know the meaning of "a sobering experience". Although, evidently, not literally in Stan's case.