If you're experiencing the Golf Masters blues and you're feeling a little sorry for yourself spare a thought for the managers of . . .
1 Greg Chalmers (in 873 teams): Was reported to the Kemper Open rules committee for technically violating the rule that says golfers can't give each other advice during a round (all he did was snap "I hit a six-iron - just get away from me" at another player's caddie when he suspected said caddy was spying on his club selection). If the incident had been reported there and then Chalmers would have picked up a two stroke penalty . . but the rules committee weren't informed till Sunday so the player was disqualified.
And who grassed on Chalmers? Em, Chalmers, who didn't realise until Sunday that what he had done was technically illegal. "It just goes to show you what a gentlemen's game golf is," said tournament director Mark Russell. "Very admirable," Chalmers' bosses wouldn't say. Why? Because if he'd said nothing he would have won them at least £30,000.
2 Mark Hensby (45): The young Australian finally had enough on the Friday evening of the Kemper Open when he missed a three-foot putt on the 14th - he took his temper out on his putter, leaving it drastically bent. Problem? He still had four holes of his second round to complete the following morning and wasn't allowed replace the club in mid-round. He then had to putt with his pitching wedge. Disaster? No. He made birdie putts of 30 and 12 feet on two of the holes, using his pitching wedge. Then? Reverted to using a proper putter in his final two rounds and . . . reverted to three-putting. Finished tied for 48th.
3 Gary Orr (59): Before the Volvo PGA Championship Orr had won his bosses a scanty £17,750 in the first 12 weeks of the Golf Masters. Then he took a share of eighth at Wentworth, winning £57,000. Finally his managers reckoned their loyalty was being rewarded and they could hardly wait for him to spring in to action at this week's British Masters - which he won last year. Yesterday? He withdrew from the tournament with a stomach bug.
How To Transfer
Transfers may be conducted each Tuesday and Wednesday during the competition with up to 10 transfers allowed per team. These 10 may be made all at one time or singly over the duration of the competition. It is important to remember, however, that you must at all times have seven players in your team, at least one of whom must be Irish, and you must stay within the £12.5 million budget.
If you wish to transfer you should have your team's PIN number ready before calling the competition number:
1550 92 49 05 (Republic of Ireland)
0906 604 0100 (Northern Ireland and Britain)
Calls cost 58p per minute in the Republic of Ireland and 60p per minute in Northern Ireland and Britain - all charges include VAT.
Competition Helpline: 01-2844060 between 10.0 a.m. and 5.30 p.m. (Monday to Friday). Normal telephone charges apply to this number. Service provided by Phonovation Ltd.
