"I can't rely on my skill because there isn't much of that. So I'll be counting on being stuck in." - Roy Keane on Manchester United's build-up to last Wednesday's European Cup match.

"I think Alan Shearer's the best footballer on the planet." - A Tibetan monk to lecturer Led Stephenson, who was leading a party of art students more than 4000 miles to learn the mystic secrets of Tibetan culture.

"So Michelle Smith de Bruin is banned for four years and all you begrudgers out there from the Irish Times school of justice are jumping up and down on her grave. Well enjoy the jump on that trampoline of injustice because your miscarriage is about to come off the tracks." - Cathal Dervan, Michelle de Bruin's biographer, in his Irish Voice column.