A slice of golfing literature Part 10: Gary Moran finds that you don't have to be a golfer to appreciate the elegance of these short stories

"The trouble about reaching the age of 92 is that regrets for a misspent life are bound to creep in, and whenever you see me with a furrowed brow you can be sure that what is on my mind is the thought that if only I had taken up golf earlier and devoted my whole time to it instead of fooling about writing stories and things, I might have got my handicap down to under 18."

For PG Wodehouse to describe himself as fooling about writing stories and things is a bit like Tiger Woods reflecting on life and saying that in his 20s he enjoyed hacking around a few municipal courses. Pebble Beach, Bethpage Black and St Andrews spring to mind.

However, when you read the autobiographical introduction to Wodehouse's The Golf Omnibus and even a selection of the 31 short stories that follow, you might wonder whether Woods or Wodehouse loved the game more.

Wodehouse (1881-1975) was a prodigious writer not just of fiction but also plays, song lyrics and screenplays.

The Jeeves and Wooster books are the best known but delve into The Golf Omnibus for more of the same beautiful writing, wry humour and romantic plots played out on the links.

Of course, they are far-fetched in the extreme and no one should get too wound up analysing such light-hearted material but there are certainly enough observations about the game and the characteristics of its players to give golfers an extra interest in these stories.

Many are related by the unnamed "Oldest Member", who dispenses pearls of wisdom and golfing anecdotes from a lifetime spent around the game.

In The Clicking of Cuthbert a distraught young man comes in after a trying day on the course determined to "forever give up this footling, infernal, fat-headed silly ass of a game. What earthly good is golf?" he asks the Oldest Member. "Can you name me a single case where devotion to this pestilential pastime has done a man any practical good?

"I will select from the innumerable memories that come to mind the story of Cuthbert Banks," replies the Oldest Member, who then tells the tale of how Cuthbert won the heart of Adeline Smethurst through his prowess on the links.

In A Woman Is Only A Woman love almost sunders the golfing friendship of Peter Willard and James Todd who challenge each other over 18 holes for the right to ask for the hand of a certain Grace Forrester.

It is only when Miss Forrester makes clear her disdain for golf that the two can get along again, prompting the Oldest Member to observe that "Love may improve a man's game or it may not.

"If he finds that the object of his affections is not the kind of girl who will listen to him with cheerful sympathy through the long evenings, while he tells her, illustrating stance and grip and swing with the kitchen poker, every detail of the day's round then, I say unhesitatingly, he had better leave it alone.

"Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times but there are higher things than love.

"A woman is only a woman, but a hefty drive is a slosh." Wodehouse admits to only ever winning one golf prize: "Hitting them squarely on the meat for once, I went through a field of some of the fattest retired business men in America like a devouring flame."

Hence, he observes that "Golf, like measles, should be caught young for, if postponed, the results may be serious."

There's nothing too serious in The Golf Omnibus but a short story a night will send many golfers chuckling to sleep.