European Masters: Hawaii to Crans-sur-Sierre is a long way to come for a bit of sightseeing and a little schmoozing with the sponsors, but that, it seems, is all Michelle Wie's first foray on to the European Tour will amount to after the teenager ended yesterday's first round of the European Masters in 147th place.
A seven-over-par 78 left the 16-year-old hopelessly adrift of the leaders and on course to miss her ninth cut in 10 appearances in men's events.
The good news for Wie was that she finished second in her three-ball, beating her playing partner Nick Dougherty by one shot. The bad news is Dougherty is currently mired in an epic slump, having missed his last nine cuts in a row.
"Before we started my view was that Michelle should be delighted if she beat me in one of the two rounds we're playing together, but, to be honest, the way I played today my mother wouldn't have had much to be happy about if she'd beat me," the Englishman said.
A far more realistic measure of the teenager's capabilities was her performance against the third member of the group, Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano, who finished with a 70, one under par. In truth, the eight-shot gap between the two was even more emphatic than their respective scores suggest.
The Spaniard, who won the European Tour's Rookie of the Year award last year, did not hit the ball much further off the tee and was only marginally more accurate with his approach shots, but he is an expert chipper of the ball and a deadly putter. Wie's short game, on the other hand, could accurately be described as amateurish.
Her difficulties began on the par-five first, where she pulled her approach into a bunker, from where she could only flop out to 20 feet.
On the next she missed a par putt from less than three feet.
On the fourth, she was getting ready to hit her approach shot when her earring fell off but still produced a superb long-iron shot to 12 feet. Alas, she left the birdie putt at least two feet short.
Indignity followed on the next as her group were then put on the clock for slow play - an irony, given that she is sponsored by the watchmakers Omega.
In fairness, it was more the fault of the crowds than of Wie.
Excited at the start of her round, they grew increasing restless as her game began to fall apart.
"The noisiest I have ever seen," Dougherty said of the galleries. "I felt sorry for Michelle, but she handled it very well."
The back nine was hardly any better for Wie as she suddenly developed a vicious hook off the tee. In the end, she did well to come home in 38, three over par.
With the co-leaders David Carter, Anthony Wall and Robert Coles on five under, Wie is 12 shots back - a deficit that would tempt some players to suddenly acquire an injury requiring them to withdraw from the tournament.
To her credit, she insisted she could shoot a low round today and somehow make the cut. As for yesterday's performance, her explanation was nothing if not original.
"I just went back to school a week ago and they dumped a whole lot of work on me. So I had to bring it all with me," she said, before heading off to the practice range for some golf tuition.
Nevertheless, on yesterday's showing even Wie's most ardent supporters would be hard pressed to make the case that she should be playing alongside the men.
As for her suggestion earlier in the week that she could one day play in the Ryder Cup - fanciful does not even come close.
It was not much better for the Irish challenge, and indeed Gary Murphy was one of the five players who found himself farther down the leaderboard than Wie at the end of the day.
Murphy crashed to a 10-over-par 81.
Best of the Irish were David Higgins and Graeme McDowell, who went round in level par 71s, while Michael Hoey shot a 72.