It was difficult to work out the Swiss formation, it seemed quite radical. Six at the back, seven in the middle, four up front, a few stragglers around the flanks and Pascal Zuberbuhler beaming in the centre.

Each player was posted at his own table, upon which sat his name on a card, sitting on his wicker chair, smiling politely as you wandered by, looking, for all the world, like a salesman at a trade fair trying to flog you an apartment in Bulgaria, beckoning you for a chat. Welcome to the Swiss team press conference.

Even Zuberbuhler seemed content enough to be there. After mistakes against Cyprus and Israel in this campaign the goalkeeper has been getting a hard time from the Swiss press, most of which has been calling for his head. But here he is, chatting to some of the same Swiss journalists who've ridiculed him, cheerfully taking the rough with, well, the rough.

Hello. "Hello," says second-choice goalkeeper Fabio Coltorti, and that was his sole contribution for the afternoon. It's not that he wasn't in the mood to chat, it's just it didn't seem anyone was interested in what he had to say. In fact the only time he was truly called into action was when he had to shift his chair to allow the scrum advance on the table in the corner. "Alexander Frei, I presume?" Yep.

Since falling out with Clinton Morrison in Basel and expectorating in the direction of Steve Gerrard at Euro 2004 Frei has been the catchy quote-seekers' dream. Largely because he speaks his mind and isn't always too concerned about the consequences.

But, alas, he's being cautious today. In perfect English he tells us he can't speak English. A translator is summoned, and off we go. Past battles with Ireland? Ugly? Nasty? Bad blood? For example, how do you remember the Euro 2004 qualifier in Basel? Dripping with acrimony, like? "I remember scoring and that we won 2-0," he grins. This fella just isn't playing ball.

Did you see Ireland against Cyprus? Rubbish? Abysmal? A joke? That was how you felt, yes? So, tomorrow will be easy, yes? "The performance of Ireland against Cyprus didn't interest me too much because I know that the Ireland team is a magnificent team. It's a very, very strong team in attack and also very hard in defence."

By now the translator's capabilities are being questioned. Are you sure he didn't say "I will spit in the eye of Ireland and wink at Clinton as I leave the pitch victorious"? Nope.

Next, Johan Vonlanthen. Hello Johan. "Hello," he says, getting out of his seat to greet the posse with handshakes. Footballers with manners? Spooky. Vonlanthen (19), born in Colombia, plays for Switzerland, holds the record for being the youngest scorer in the European Championship, when his Euro 2004 goal took the record away from Wayne Rooney (which, incidentally, led to our favourite quote of all time, from David Beckham: "I'm sure it'll just make Wayne even more determined to get the record back against Portugal tonight").

"I think the game for me tomorrow is the biggest I will ever have played in," he says. "It has been an unbelievable group, everything is so close. It would be wonderful to win this group and go to the World Cup, we will try to beat Ireland to make sure of that but if it is a draw we will see what happens afterwards. But we will try to win this game."

The last time Switzerland played in the World Cup finals, in 1994, Vonlanthen was seven and living in Colombia. And, as luck would have it, for a boy with Swiss and Colombian blood in his veins, the countries were drawn in the same group. Allegiances are less complicated now, he says. He's Swiss, full stop.

"To qualify for these finals would be fantastic. I think we have a good team and everybody is close together, we are good friends. That's what makes us strong, this team has something I can't explain, the mentality of this team is unbelievable."

In another corner Philipp Degan, out of respect to his hosts, is attempting to look disappointed about the fact that the man he may well have had to mark, Damien Duff, is out injured. But it doesn't mean, he insists, he will be so idle in the game he might as well bring his clubs. That's for another time.

"I play also golf," he says, "and I heard that you can play lots of golf in Ireland. I have no time on this trip because this game is very important so I must come back to play a few games again."

Meanwhile, in the basement, the Swiss coach is on talking duty. Tomorrow, Kobi Kuhn, is your birthday - what present would you like? "Three points, of course," he grins. Optimistic? "I am always optimistic. Without optimism, you cannot play football."

Ireland against Cyprus? "But that is not our reference, our reference is Ireland against France, so we know they have a strong team. It is difficult to play Cyprus, you do not judge teams on those games."

Your record against Ireland is very good? "Yes, it is an advantage in our head. We know we can win, but I think they doubt their own capacity to beat us."

But, like his players, he says it so politely you just can't turn it in to a 'IRELAND FRAZZLED WITH LACK OF BELIEF' headline.

Meanwhile, back upstairs, Pascal Zuberbuhler's still smiling graciously.