Emmet Malone on how the Swiss squad have to endure a British tabloid's obsession with cows

At the England camp events took a strange turn on Tuesday when David James and Sol Campbell found themselves answering questions at the main press conference from a BBC Children's television reporter on how they are passing the time.

"We're watching television mainly," smiled James. "BBC children's television as it happens."

Yesterday a splinter group from the great British media circus moved 90 kilometres to the Swiss team's base a little outside the town of Obidos. It didn't take long to spot the travelling faction's clown. The players had yet to arrive for their nine o'clock press conference but outside the hotel function room was a man wearing lederhosen, selected accessories and carrying a cuckoo clock. Could he really be from a British tabloid? Oooooooh, you betcha.

The man from the Sun mingled with bemused Swiss players while being trailed by a photographer. The idea was simple enough and for the most part it was going down better than you would imagine somebody dressed as a leprechaun would with the Republic of Ireland's management or players.

"It's okay, sometimes we like some jokes," said the Kobi Kuhn when asked about the stunt; strange this, because only the previous day another journalist from the same British tabloid had described Switzerland as Europe's dullest country where "comedy is illegal during daylight hours".

That line had come in a piece suggesting Swiss goalkeeper Jorg Stiel was a somewhat "crazeeee" guy in the wake of his unorthodox save in the match against Croatia but the man who wrote it had moved on. The readers back home would be keen for another insight into tonight's opponents and their man in Obidos had something special in mind. A cow story.

The Swiss, of course, brought this all on themselves. In the media guide to Switzerland, handed out to visiting journalists, there was a picture of Roger Federer, last year's Wimbledon champion, being presented back at home with a cow called Juliet to celebrate his achievement. Hand that sort of thing to a collection of people dedicated to the pursuit of an easy angle and it's only ever going to end one way.

"Would you like that?" the reporter asked bewildered Swiss right-back Bernt Haas. "Mmmm, yes I'm sure it would be very nice," the 25 year-old West Brom player replied politely.

"What would you do with your cow?" persisted the intrepid hack, clearly sensing he was onto a winner. "Eat it," grinned Haas. "With some gravy perhaps."

Briefly the conversation moved to football although in the background intermittent mooing could be heard - it was coming from the specially-adapted cuckoo clock apparently - and moments later Haas was being hauled back to the bovine theme.

"It'd be nice, though, wouldn't it? Twenty three cows waiting when you got back."

"I suppose so," sighed the player, now shaking his head and looking slightly desperate at the other journalists for help. "It would look great, all those cows in the airport together."

Finally, the conversation moved on. Haas spoke about how important Hakan Yakin will be for the Swiss this evening, how David James should have been sent off on Sunday and how Fabio Celestini's tackling in midfield will be critical to his side's hopes of disrupting the build-up play.

At every pause it seemed that the cow questions might resume. The man from the Sun, though, clearly had what he wanted in the bag. And anyway, there was no need to milk it.