Scarborough - 0 Chelsea - 1:FA Cup fourth round: The giant sand replica of the FA Cup has been washed away by the tides, the beaches are left again to a few winter dog walkers, and another footballing fantasy will soon fade from the memory.
But what a week it was. Tire of the FA Cup and surely you have tired of the best that football can offer.
Had the seaside fortune-tellers not boarded up for the winter, they could have made a killing pronouncing on whether Scarborough had it in them to pull off one of the great shocks in FA Cup history. The answer was "no", but any Gypsy could have foretold that that the villain would be a man in black.
Scarborough folk are revered among Yorkshire folk for relishing a good moan, and referee Barry Knight gave them a perfect excuse. William Gallas's handball nine minutes from time should have brought Scarborough a penalty, and with it the possibility of Chelsea's multi-million-pound team (a modest £60 million played £2,000 on Saturday) having to rough it again at Stamford Bridge.
For Knight, perfectly positioned, to interpret Gallas's handball as he leapt for a cross as "ball to hand" rather than "hand to ball" was a nonsense; Gallas is not in the habit of walking around with his hands, or in this case his elbow, seven feet in the air. The Scarborough pubs are thick with resentment, and rightly so.
The last mud bath experienced by most of Chelsea's pampered elite probably cost them £100 down the King's Road and came with a seaweed facial and colonic irrigation. One look at the mud-bath pitch at the McCain Stadium and Chelsea had no need for the colonic irrigation.
With so many players off-key, they had their own stalwarts. John Terry was immense, a central defender who can perform against the great and the not-so-great. Terry also scored the 10th-minute goal that secured Chelsea's passage to the fifth round.
The goal itself was simple, headed past Leigh Walker from a yard after Chelsea had worked a short corner and Mario Melchiot had won the header at the far post, his shake of luxurious black ponytail enough to bring on a fit of envy among the donkeys on South Bay.
Walker had been promised ever-more exotic holidays the longer he kept a clean sheet. He probably had to settle for a long weekend in Bridlington.
"We should have won more comfortably but that is what the FA Cup is all about," Terry said.
Frank Lampard, vastly improved, was another Chelsea player who sought to impose his authority.
His swerving shot struck the post after two minutes, and he remained Chelsea's likeliest scorer, his frustration exemplified by three blocked shots in as many seconds midway through the second half.
Then there were Chelsea players with less to commend them. Joe Cole strutted to no purpose. Jesper Gronkjaer entirely lacked resolve, and was replaced at half-time so that Emmanuel Petit, in his first game for four months, could bring some competitive edge to central midfield.
The Scarborough chance duly presented itself from Jimmy Kelly's free-kick after 80 minutes. The Irishman, Colin Cryan, directed a ducking header straight at Carlo Cudicini. He returns to Sheffield United today, his loan spell over, aware he blew it. "You get that chance in every big game and this time it came to me," he said.
"It came as a total surprise and I had time to direct it across the goal but I just couldn't get it past the keeper," Cryan said.
Guardian Service
