Heartfelt commiserations to agent Paul Horan and his client Oliver "uninterruptable sex machine" Donelon, whose Christmas was well and truly ruined by Tony Parkes' appointment as Blackburn Rovers manager - and the likelihood that he'll keep his temporary job in light of the team's winning start to his reign. A few weeks back Paul gave us an exclusive scoop on Oliver's application for the Blackburn job, sending us a copy of his entirely genuine letter to the club which included an impressive CV, the highlight of which was Oliver's spell as manager of Galway City FC in the Nightowls International League and a promise to bring stars such as Phil Babb, Cyril Regis and Justin Edinburgh to Ewood Park.

Blackburn, very nicely, replied to Oliver: "Thank you for your letter and application for the above position. I must advise you that the new manager of Blackburn Rovers will have experience of football at the highest level. As such we are unable to consider your application further. Your interest in the club is much appreciated. Yours sincerely, T M Finn (Secretary)". Then they gave the job to Parkes.

Disappointed but undeterred, Oliver is contemplating applying for the Aston Villa job, which he's sure will be available after they lose their League Cup replay to West Ham. We'll keep you informed.