January
Amelie Mauresmo leaves the toilet seat up in the women's changing-rooms at the Australian Open final, Martina Hingis (her conqueror) accuses the French player of being a man. Keith doesn't prove to be a `Wiseman' as he and Graham Kelly are forced to resign from the English FA in the `votes for cash scandal.'
Ulster decamps to Lansdowne Road to witness a marvellous European Cup final triumph over Colomiers. England's stiff upper lip quivers when chucked out of the Five Nations only to be reinstated. Southampton boss David Jones describes a 7-1 mauling by Liverpool as the lowest moment of his career: later in the year he faced child abuse charges. Sprinter Dougie Walker is banned for substance abuse, England manager Glenn Hoddle is berated for insulting the handicapped.
February
Glenn Hoddle resigns, the English RFU is fined £80,000 by the International Board and the English cricket team suffer their second biggest one-day defeat (162 runs) against Australia. Great month so far. The Ireland rugby team faces criminal negligence charges after losing 10-9 to France at Lansdowne Road, while on remand they beat Wales at Wembley. They will later be re-arrested for fraud. Kevin Keegan leaves Fulham for `the greatest job in the world.' Position at Tesco falls through and he's left with the England manager's job. Three horses killed at Sedgefield in a horrific nine-horse pile-up. Marc Overmars scores the goal that wasn't against Sheffield United in the FA Cup and then nets the winner in the rematch (2-1). Kevin Campbell is labelled a `cannibal' by Trabzonspor chairman Mehmet Ali Yilmaz, subsequently disproved when he is shown to prefer the Toffees.
March
Jockeys Dean Gallagher and Ray Cochrane are released without charge in the investigation into horse doping and race fixing charges. Six International Olympic Committee members are expelled for their role in a corruption scandal: accusations are hurriedly denied. Evander Holyfield and Lennox Lewis fight a controversial draw. One of the judges, Larry O'Connell, concedes that the white man should have won. Istabraq successfully defends the Champion Hurdle. Festival finishes, empty-pocketed Paddies sport green faces. See More Business goes ballistic to win the Cheltenham Gold Cup. UEFA call off Macedonia v Ireland match in Skopje and also the Bosnia v Scotland game. Crossmaglen Rangers and St Joseph's Doora-Barefield win the club football and hurling titles respectively. Chelsea coach Graham Rix is handed a 12-month jail sentence after pleading guilty to having sex with a 15-year-old girl and unlawfully assaulting her. Manchester United beat Inter Milan 3-1 on aggregate to reach the semi-finals of the European Champions League, Tottenham win the Worthington Cup.
April
Robbie Fowler powders his nose during Liverpool's 3-2 victory over Everton in the Merseyside derby and ends up looking a proper `Charlie.' He is fined £60,000 and charged with misconduct by the English FA. Oxford get that sinking feeling again when losing for the seventh consecutive time in the boat race. Richard Dunwoody breaks Peter Scudamore's all-time winners' record while fellow jockey Graham Bradley seems set to get a record of his own, a police one. He is later cleared of all charges. British tennis is searching for a new bulb after Greg Rusedski's 100-watt smile suffers a power failure as he loses to Jim Courier in five sets in the deciding match of the Davis Cup tie (USA beat Britain 3-2). Roy Keane inspires United's fightback in a 3-2 second-leg victory over Juventus that puts them through to the European Champions League final. Chelsea lose to Real Mallorca in the Cup Winners' Cup semi-final. New ballad of Bobbyjo set for immediate release after Paul Carberry's victory in the Grand National at Aintree. Jose Maria Olazabal wins his second US Masters at Augusta, Dubliner Fergal O'Brien clinches the British Open, Ryan Giggs scores his wonder-goal against Arsenal and Neil Jenkins breaks English hearts with a late touchline conversion to hand the Five Nations Championship to Scotland. L'Oreal's David Ginola has nicer hair than Roy Keane, the deciding factor in the Player of the Year award.
May
Rangers beat Celtic 3-0 to win the Premier League title in Scotland, subsequently defeat the same opposition 1-0 to win the Scottish Cup and in doing so complete the treble. Not to be outdone, Manchester United win their fifth Premiership title in seven years, and thrash Newcastle 2-0 in the FA Cup final. United gatecrash the European Champions League final, interrupting Bayern's Lothar Matthaeus as he tries to pen his victory speech with late goals from Teddy Sheringham and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Stephen Hendry wins a record seventh World snooker championship final. Steve Collins suffers a blackout in training and announces his second retirement from the ring. England captain Lawrence Dallaglio wins the Hans Christian Andersen award for pre-pubescent fiction but is later disqualified for claiming true-life experiences. The FAI Cup heads for Bray-sur-mer while St Patrick's Athletic retain their National League title. Card shark Niall Barrett creates a furore in the Leinster championship game between
Carlow and Westmeath when he produced six cards of the same suit - red. Cork beat Dublin in the National Football League final before a sparse crowd at Pairc Ui Chaoimh while Tipperary prevail in the hurling equivalent. England bow out of the cricket World Cup following a 63-run defeat by India.
June
Martina Hingis changes her clothes, hairstyle and finally her mind, returning after storming off the court in tears following her three-set defeat by Steffi Graf in the French Open final. Andre Agassi brooks no argument winning the men's equivalent against Andrei Medvedev in a great five-set match and in the process completes the Grand Slam of titles (not in a single season). Clare goalkeeper David Fitzgerald breaks Tipperary hearts, first with a great save and then scoring a penalty in the dying seconds of the Munster Championship. Clare win the replay. Kildare are knocked out of the football championship.
Heinz-Harald Frentzen wins the French Grand Prix for Jordan, Niall Quinn scores the winner against Macedonia and Michelle de Bruin's swimming career sinks after losing her appeal to CAS over a four-year ban. American Maurice Greene breaks the 100 metres world record (9.79 seconds), only marginally less time than it takes 16-year-old Australian Jelena Dokic to knock Hingis out in the first round at Wimbledon. Payne Stewart wins a second US Open in a marvellous finish at Pinehurst. Australia win the Cricket World Cup final.
