A soccer miscellany compiled by MARY HANNIGAN

Orange crushed: Dutch despair at dreadful defeat

So, how did that Dutch defeat to Germany go down back home?

Not the best, as you might imagine.

“Germany controls the Netherlands – Disgrace” was the gist of Algemeen Dagblad’s headline, with Arjen Robben used for illustration purposes.

The Dutch Metro was a bit on the heated side too, opting for “Slaughtered by the Germans – but Holland is still alive”, which you’d have thought was a contradiction in terms. NRC Handelsblad, though, couldn’t spot any sign of life: “Our team has lacked chemistry and was on a death track for months”.

How did our old favourite, Germany’s Bild, respond?

“Ha, Ha Holland” (not for the first time this tournament).

Followed by: “Great Holland! This fiasco makes us happy!”.

Ouch.

ANYTHING GOOD ON TV?

Angry fan of the week: the Polish fella who, according to AFP, threw his television out his third-storey window after Russia scored the opener in their game the other night.

“He was so overcome by emotion that he chucked it out the window,” said police spokesperson Tomasz Czerniak.

“Fortunately, no one was around, so the television just fell, exploded, but no one was injured.”

Neighbours in the city of Sosnowiec reported the telly-chucking to the local police and they arrived to arrest the 46-year-old culprit who, they said, was “uncooperative and heavily drunk”.

The worst part, of course, is that the chap missed the equaliser and is now telly-less.

“He should have shown some patience,” said Czerniak. “As they say, ‘anything can happen when the ball is in play’.”

Hart times: Swede sur

Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet seems rather confident about today’s meeting with England, or else they just enjoy tempting fate.

Above is their mock-up of the English newspaper Daily Mirror’s front page . . . after the game.

Countdown: Okay with Fifa

FIFA has dismissed suggestions the countdown which precedes the kick-off at Euro 2012 matches encroaches on the referees authority. Just before kick-off, a stadium announcer counts down from 10 to one.

Anders on : Svensson lies back and thinks of England

“With all respect to Sweden, they are not France.”

– Steven Gerrard, armed with Google Maps, at his press conference yesterday.

“I just think maybe you (England) think you are a little bit better than you are and we are a little bit better than you think we are . . . I think you have a great team but I think you don’t think that much about the Swedish team, never have. I think we are a good team and are on the same level as England and have been for a long time. I don’t think maybe England have the same respect for us as they do for France, Brazil.”

– Sweden’s Anders Svensson, doing a lot of thinking before that meeting with England.

“You know where he was at this time last year? Do you know? He was being eliminated in the Copa America, in his own country. I think that’s worse, no?”

– Cristiano Ronaldo, after a night when Denmark supporters taunted him with Lionel Messi chants, proving they didn’t get to him. At all.