Did you read about the California greenkeeper who ran over himself last week? Granted, he didn't do it intentionally, but still, he mowed himself down while driving a tractor along a fairway on the 13th hole at Stone Tree Golf Club in Marin County and ended up needing surgery to repair cuts to his stomach.

"He got on a slope that was just a little too steep for him," said the extraordinarily named local Police Department officer John Deadman. (He's grand, though, you'll be relieved to hear).

Why are we telling you this? Well, really, it's a more-than-likely fruitless attempt at bringing down to earth some of our exultant Golf Masters managers, by attempting to prove to them that there's worse off than themselves.

Since Sunday 1,810 managers have been partying in honour of Des Smyth's Madeira Island Open win, with 196 of them showering themselves in sparkling wine because they'd transferred in the 48-year-old since registration time.

Smyth had earned £144,458 by the end of the 2000 competition. After three weeks of 2001? He's lodged £117,250 into the accounts of his 1,810 devotees.

But? Well, it's never plain sailing on the Golf Masters' seas, is it? Did you hear Vicki Smyth's reaction to her lesser half's victory? "Obviously I'm thrilled for him, especially since it means he can now spend more time at home this year."

Those are the very words that strike despondency into the hearts of Golf Masters managers. All 1,810 will now fear that, while their man should be on the European circuit, he'll be back home in Drogheda, with his feet up.

You don't believe us? Dermot Gilleece? Tell them. "Unlike recent years, there will no longer be a struggle to retain exempt status, which means he can afford to play in fewer tournaments."

See? Told you.