LockerRoom: Woe. Woe. Woe. Wracked and riddled with the crankiness this morning. Feeling old. No appetite for japes and jibes. Crotchety all over. And - before you tell me - I know there are bigger problems in the world: but this Rule 42 thing sticks in the throat.

Noel Walsh's idea of a plebiscite of all GAA clubs on the Croke Park issue is a good one, and the undead presidents brought that plebiscite a little nearer to reality last week. It was better for the eight motions to receive lethal injections than to die kicking and screaming in a conference hall in Killarney.

And let's be clear. The motions were going to die in dreadful agony. Their passing was going to be covered by the media in gruesome technicolour, because, for all the high falutin' notions that people have about Congress as an instrument of democracy or freedom of speech, we live in the real world.

The Congress representatives were coming with mandates. They were going to use them. The eight motions were going to be defeated. It was going to be more uncomfortable than a lingering goodnight kiss with your grandma. And onlookers were going to have pretty much the same impression of you.

End of story.

Now. Knowing that, there were several boxes you could tick.

You might have wanted those motions to be defeated in such a way that nobody would raise the issue ever again but you would always emit the light scent of burnt martyr.

Or. You might have wanted those eight little motions slaughtered because public embarrassment for the GAA always makes you happy.

Or. You wanted them defeated because you hate the soccer crowd but are a dedicated ecumenist and just wanted a chance to tell everyone.

Or. You wanted them defeated in such a way that offered a chance of progress.

Whatever box you ticked, you got the last outcome. The right way for the Croke Park issue to be debated is in every clubhouse and hall in the country. Among the owners.

Let me say this. When Noel Walsh's plebiscite bandwagon rolls around I will go up to the hall and I'll raise my little paw and vote yes. Open the bloody place up.

Be done with it.

I won't raise my hand with the enthusiasm I might once have raised it, because frankly I think the GAA have been treated shabbily in the whole affair. They've been bullied, bribed, betrayed and beaten down by this incessant clamour to do something about the plight of soccer.

I've yet to meet a Shamrock Rovers fan who takes any joy or pride in the homeless state of the club since Glenmalure Park closed down. Likewise, it does the self-image of Irish soccer no good to be on the begging-bowl end of the Croke Park debate year in and year out. After three World Cups and a European Championship, the plight of a team of millionaires just shouldn't be part of the GAA's agenda. But it is.

So. I'll vote yes, but I won't do so because I think it will be any more enjoyable to see Damien Duff play soccer in Croke Park than it is to see him play in Lansdowne Road. I love soccer and bow to no man in my affection for El Duffer, but I think when Croke Park opens up to soccer and rugby I'll actually feel a little twist of sadness because it's always been our own place.

My grandfather used to run races there on the cinder track back when the last century was young, and we've seldom lived very far away from the tall stands and I've always enjoyed the sheer wonder of it just being the GAA's home.

There'll be a bit of pride mixed in there, of course, thinking of commentators in some foreign language explaining the GAA to an intrigued populace.

Ironically, soccer people know just what I mean. What attracted them to the Eircom Park idea was the same notion. Just the idea of having their own place.

I won't be voting yes just to help get this wretched Government out of a hole. It was suggested (drolly perhaps) in an editorial in this newspaper during the week that realpolitik would prevent the Government from doing the honourable thing and paying the €38 million it owes the GAA while the GAA retained an instrument of exclusion on its books.

Hmmm. This would be, of course, the Government which is asking for a referendum to introduce a vicious and pernicious instrument of exclusion against children born in this land? This would be the €38 million which serves as the second half of the bribe given by the Government to retain Rule 42 specifically as an instrument of exclusion? Nah.

I won't be helping to open up the gates because the GAA needs the money. I do believe, however, that when that money comes in it should be as plentiful as can be. Full rent. Take it or leave it chaps. Croke Park is the asset of every GAA member.

Full rent will pay for lots of coaches. Again, ask the IRFU. I would humbly suggest that for the first five years of rent coming in that those coaches be hurling coaches, because hurling needs missionaries. The money will be useful, but there won't be enough of it to change the world.

Nor will I vote yes thinking that my example will mean that the local motocross team will be entitled to practice on the dunes of Portmarnock Golf Club. I won't vote yes thinking that women will suddenly be allowed become members of Portmarnock Golf Club. I won't vote yes thinking that there will be an end to exclusion in Irish sports by virtue of economics, class or gender. I won't vote yes under the illusion that there will be an end to sectarianism in northern soccer or that I'll hear the Irish rugby team stand to a proper anthem again. I'm not that naive. I know ecumenism is a GAA responsibility.

I'll be voting yes just to hear the end of it. I'll be voting yes for a bit of peace. I'll be voting yes so that we can just get on with it. I'll be voting yes so that the energy can go back into the places it's supposed to be. I'll be voting yes because, despite all the ludicrous slapstick we've seen from the Government and the FAI for the best part of a decade, it has been decided that the current stadia crisis is somehow the fault of the GAA. Enough already.

I blame Rupert Murdoch of course. Although they seem like the dumbest of our cursed tribe, Irish politicians know their demographics. The Sky-watching, Fergie-adoring constituency is now at the tipping point in terms of numbers. Add in that constituency of mild and generous GAA people just happy to appease and, well, next thing you have a majority. You're being knocked down by scurvy Fianna Fáilers sprinting towards that majority.

I'll be voting yes, and then I'll be going to lie down in a dark room for about a decade. Before I shuffle off, though, I'll insist on several conditions before the deal goes through. No Fianna Fáil photo ops near GAA players. The risk of contamination is too great. They'll only want to play with the wind if they get infected.

No whinging about the rent.

No moaning about the availability. If the place is closed to your sport because a Dublin primary schools hurling semi-final is scheduled,well, too bad. Lansdowne's surface was often shredded by obscure club matches played the week before.

Also. Say thank you on your way out. Leave the place the way you found it.

And lads? No dogging. No roasting.

Just one more thing. The first time Mary Harney attempts to revive her idea of opening all GAA grounds to everyone, take it for granted that the revolution has started.